Here is support material to assist you in navigating the territory that you discover about yourself when engaging the practices while receiving Sacred Body Rites.
Please take your time, and read this with your open receptive body, and not with your mind.
Emotions are stored in the body as a living substance comprised of somatic memories of past experiences, or projections into future that make up a separate sense of a ‘self.’ A significant portion of this ‘separate self’ is constellated as an energetic psychological complex that are derived from personal past experiences, and the body absorbs our western ancestral-genetic hypermasculine heritage that has been encoded by the limbic system, and is held somatically body-wide.
However, most of these energies are absorbed by and stored in the genital area. The energetic complex stored here is comprised of projections from cumulative past heartbreaks, abuse, trauma, self-hatred, disappointments, or of romanticized fantasies with lovers, or projections onto future lovers. These are felt as energies of emotions that drench our genital tissues with intensity that are encoded deep in the subconscious. These emotional energies are brought to consciousness somatically by the brain’s limbic system whenever anything we contact resembles the energetic tone of the event or story that we then project onto another – this can be evoked by thoughts, ideas, memory, smell, taste, touch, sight, place, situation, person, etc.
Then, when a projection is triggered somatically, the body behaves automatically exactly as though the past is now, having little to do with what, or who, is actually present. When this projected somatic experience unconsciously and automatically arises, we want to bodily repeat it if it is a pleasant event from the past, or, we avoid it by holding back if it was unpleasant.
If this complex – as the emotionally drenched ‘self’ of projection – takes over while celebrating Conscious Love, the felt sensations of the Eros Body disappear and recede into the background and are replaced by emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Meanwhile, our awareness is thrown out of the present through automatic bodily motions that ‘confess’ either grasping or rejection due to past or future, and into various forms of dissociation. No longer present in NOW, we are unable to feel the subtle erotic inner-body sensations of Conscious Love in the present – because sensing The Love is possible only in NOW – as opposed to a projected state that is drenched by emotions, feelings, thoughts that unconsciously ‘behave us.’
Due to the receptive, magnetic nature of the female flesh, women are more unconsciously bodily infected by the cultural hypermasculine disposition than the male because his flesh is more electric, or emanating. Therefore, if a woman has had sex with men who ‘get’ from her in aggressive and dominating ways, her body absorbs these energies from him. A woman’s perineum, rectum, labia, clitoris, vagina, cervix, and uterus are thus loaded with emotional and physical tension, pain, and stress from old wounds of abuse, domination, and emotional ownership of her libido by her father, or a lover.
Subsequently, like an infection caught from man, she will feel a need to temporarily release built-up tension during sex, or through masturbation via clitoral stimulation to achieve a surface orgasm that leaves her unsatisfied. The emotional correlates to this tension manifest as feelings of restlessness, inability to be with intensity, discontent, confusion, ungroundedness, rapidly changing emotions and moods, sexual hunger and predatory ‘maneater’ behavior, frigidity, control of sex, and control of her man’s libido, jealousy, or the opposite extreme: sexual numbness (absence of sensation) in the lower pelvis and vagina. Sometimes all of these can be present at the same time in different configurations. Talk about confusion!
Having sex under the influence of a hypermasculine, emotionally drenched energetic complex, a woman will, during lovemaking, unconsciously exhibit aggressive, rapid motions, often to the point of dissociation, while her predatory ‘getting from’ behavior that man infected her with swamps her capacity to sense the subtler slower, micro-sensations of Love’s sensuous inner-body flow, emanating from her precious Eros Body that are exhibited by her yoni’s subtle micro-motions in her flesh. This blurring not only adds to the energies of tension and trauma in her perineum, rectum, labia, clitoris, g-spot, vagina, cervix, and uterus that further numbs her sensations; she will also miss the micro-nuances of Love’s subtle sensuous sweetness and beauty that flows from her Eros Body that is expressed by her flesh, which her man is also deprived of.
From another perspective, since the beginning of her sexual maturity most women have entertained romantic daydreams and idealized fantasies about lovers and lovemaking to produce the excitement and tension needed to achieve clitoral orgasm, which increases the perineal, rectal, vaginal, cervical, uterine tensions. Surface depression, remorse, and disappointment arises after your man has had his ejaculation in you, or after you have had a clitoral orgasm from sex or masturbation.
While whole-body inner breathing, feelingly inhabit your inner-body space, while you maintain feeling presence to your sensations while masturbating. During heightened build-up in the intensity of your sensations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, fantasies or orgasm, practice whole-body inner breathing, and feelingly inhabit your whole inner body space. Open your heart space to receive the sensations of orgasmic intensity so they spread and fill your whole, inner body space. If you can slow down your stroking tempo, you may sense the subtle sensuous, micro-motions of your Eros Body: let those sensations guide you in your erotic bodily expressions. These more subtle sensations, arising from your inner Eros Body will lead you to an orgasm possessing a higher order of coherence that expresses throughout the whole body, and beyond.
Much of our difficulty with celebrating Conscious Love arises out of our fear of repeating past traumas, abuse, heartbreaks, disappointments, disillusionments, self-betrayals, and painful emotional experiences with lovers, or from memories of unsatisfying love-making or parental abuse. Also, if we over romanticize what Love is, and built a fantasy world of projection around it, trying with all our might to make romantic love work based on our projections onto another of who they are not! This is compounded by the degree we have been tainted and influenced by the ancient cultural hypermasculine disposition – our ancestral-genetic heritage. However, on an unconscious level we are also terrified of Eros, desire, and particularly arousal.
All these cumulative energies consolidate into a single energetic-psychic complex that forms the emotionally drenched ‘self.’ This emotional ‘me’ leaves us afraid of Eros, therefore we control her sensuous expressions in our body. All painful or pleasant experiences encoded by the brain’s limbic system are stored in the body, and most particularly land in the perineum, rectal, and genital areas. Barry Long says if the emotionally drenched self is in charge, the hypermasculine co-opts the erotic flow of our sensuous expressions, which shift a celebrating of Conscious Love into having sex solely for self-gratification through fantasy and a hyper-focus on clitoral orgasm and ejaculation. We loose the ability to celebrate Conscious Love in the present as a sensuous whole-bodily-being process.
The Power of the Bonding Instinct in Women
We may be afraid to let the power of The Love rise from the lower body through solar plexus, to heart, and let Love have her way with us without emotional control that is based on fear based on our past – these become ‘tissue excuses,’ or expressions of the ‘bonding instinct.’ Therefore, we may come up with VERY good ’felt-reasons’ (feelings) as to why we cannot let Love ‘have us,’ nor surrender to Love!
There are plenty of STRONG emotions and feelings in the genital tissues, due to history, that bring up powerful thoughts and feelings that convince us to insist that we not fully open to Love. Besides the unconscious emotionally drenched perineum/yoni/cervix, uterus/rectum mentioned above that Barry Long talks about in his “Making Love” CD (and that Sacred Consort practice is designed to release) there’s the overwhelming female bonding instinct designed for procreation that convince us that opening to Love is risky.
For a female who is able to have a baby, bonding is a genetic IMPERATIVE. It is the most powerful impediment in a woman to TOTALLY surrender to The Love inside her if she is unaware of it. The bonding instinct, designed to drive procreation, is the deepest physical instinct, arising from the genetics of every cell. Therefore it takes ferocious, heroic presence to see through this bonding impulse. Why? Because every hormone is responding to ‘the one’ male ‘out there’ who will give you the seed to create your baby. “Without projecting all my love onto ‘him,’ I cannot possibly surrender to The Love inside. What would happen if I did surrender to inner Love? Who would I be? How can I possibly stand in my sovereign dignity in this Love – AS this Love?” Fortunately, there is a portal out of this dilemma – let us take a look.
“My Body is a Sacred Vessel Suffused with Love”
If you want to explore a feminine version of Eden that lovingly erotically connects with everything bodily, then cultivate a feeling recognition of the hypermasculine complex. It also helps to cultivate a fierce commitment to building unwavering, feeling presence so you can feelingly ‘be with’ all the disembodied hypermasculine aspects of your conditioned self.
Ultimately this means we consciously indentify and unite with everything that we are.
The hypermasculine complex sits aloof in the head above the body and looks ‘down’ upon the separate, objectified body and it regards our precious body as a despised pack animal designed for our use, a mere lump that is not worthy of love, or even of existing. Then add onto that the new age neo-advaitic perspective: the body is not real! (This may be a source of modern female body image issues). In this contrived spiritualized ‘non-dual’ disposition, the witness sends its light of intelligence as an objectifying consciousness that is void of feeling, compassion, and love into the body from above yet, still maintaining its distance by not feeling the emotions that lurk ‘down there’ as the uncomfortable aspects of self. Hypermasculine consciousness fears Love, and avoids feeling her by controlling body’s sensations, and exploiting her needs, desires, longings, tenderness, sweetness, Eros, innocence, and power, and he perpetrates upon body a self-hateful disposition (see Recognition of Hypermasculine, under ‘Both Sexes’).
Body is the radiant vessel of the Divine Feminine, emanating the original Indestructible Innocence of Criatura.
Body is none other than the most refined physical expression of The Love of the Tender Mother.
However, when our consciousness is invaded by the hypermasculine consciousness, and we objectify body, and subject her to the self-hatred of the hypermasculine, then our body’s vulnerability, innocence, openness, sweetness, and emanation of Love retreats and becomes deeply buried in the unconscious. When these intensified unconscious energies accumulate, they build-up and either go underground to become an inner swamp, or eventually the energies will explode due to the pressure created by suppressing Love’s power. The intensity of pressure from self-hatred, fear, and by controlling Love has to go somewhere. This creates what Barry Long calls the ‘fiendess’ in woman, and what I call the ‘enraged killer’ in man.
Repressed Love – sensations of our Eros Body – when not allowed to flourish as authentic physical expressions, turns into mysterious illnesses of all sorts: physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual. These symptoms express emotionally as various forms of bodily self-harm, body self-image distortions, eating disorders, self-hatred, self-violent communications of the inner critic, disdain toward our ever-changing chaotic moods, inner instability, restlessness, confusion, lack of ground, irritability, inability to be with intensity, and no sense of ground or center. Behaviors and emotional outbursts, arising from hypermasculine repression and control based on past or future, are not pretty, as you well know if you have ever experienced the fiendess in a woman – or the enraged killer in man. Barry Long in his CD, ‘Making Love’ fiercely warns us that when the fiendess explosively expresses herself, rarely can a man stand up to her, and he will allow himself to be castrated to avoid her wrath. His observation is brilliant, and the same applies to a woman with respect to facing the enraged killer in man.
Further, and even more important, Long says, “Until you know the fiendess, you cannot know love.”
Therefore, the way out of this predicament is to clearly, unflinchingly see, be with, and most importantly, feel all aspects of ourselves – as they are – while at the same time to let it be, and remain feelingly, unwaveringly present to ‘the given’ in undefended open-heartedness. The hypermasculine consciousness affects us all, and its influence penetrates deep in the unconscious all the way into the making of our cells at conception!
Refrain from negatively labeling and harshly judging the hypermasculine consciousness, or criticizing your ever-changing emotions, fluctuating states, bodily and human needs, feelings, or your behavior. Recognize it, admit it, be with and feel it.
The way through this powerful portal is to feel your inner body sensations amid intensity or intimacy – be with it, and leave it as it is. To feelingly be with your sensations – as intensity or intimacy – in relaxed openheartedness restores the balance toward the positive masculine. This Sacred Masculine practice: free-flowing attention, unwavering feeling presence, amid a tender open heart inherently possesses Love for ‘what is’ with utter feeling and inner body receptivity to all that the feminine emanates. Feelingly receiving ‘what is’ about yourself is the only way I know for the hypermasculine disposition to shift, to acquiesce its control of our Eros, and to let Love be in charge. Once Eros is freed, Love takes over your body and returns it to a primordial state, expressing as an Innocent Fount of Radiant Love.
It so happens that you model the Positive Sacred Masculine by practicing free-flowing attention, feeling presence in unwavering, open hearted spaciousness that welcome all expressions of Love ‘to be.’ Cultivate receptive, openhearted, feeling presence for whatever the feminine manifests – be it an expression of the inner or outer woman: To let her be here, just as she is, invites Love to freely emanate throughout woman’s body as her precious Love – as her Radiant Glorioiusa.
This positive masculine practice gradually quiets the inner war, and the resulting inner harmony creates freed space in which the inner feminine – as Love – ventures out to play more freely. Love begins to emanate as sensuousness from inside the woman’s inner body space, which unites all spiritual, psychic, emotional, and bodily separation, which, in turn, heals the fragmented hypermasculine dissociation of consciousness, which is the origin of masculine fragmented consciousness. Once the fragmented parts of male consciousness reunites with The Love from woman, it restores a man to his rightful place as dynamic feeling presence that is holder of opposites.
Your inner Positive Sacred Masculine emanates a grounded, deeply relaxed, present, feeling awareness inside the body. He bestows relaxation, safety, love-infused feeling presence, confidence in Being, and Trust in now, and we enjoy a harmonious embodied inner feeling relationship with the inner feminine. Jung characterizes this as a birth that occurs after the death of the ‘Hero’ (hypermasculine). Then the ‘Coniunctio’ or Sacred Union between the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine gives birth to the Divine Inner Child who expresses the Original Innocence of Criatura – the body in its primordial state as Sacred Vessel as Holy Grail.
Unwavering feeling presence provides infinite space for all expressions of the feminine.
This alchemical substance transubstantiates and restores body to its natural state as Holy Grail.
Your life will never be the same after your body becomes a continuous fount of infinite Love that is in erotic feeling connection with everything. This is enfleshment from which you cannot go back to the trance of virtual hypermasculine life.
Enfleshment is an actual realized state in which your body becomes Love, and this Sacred Union will stabilize as you repeatedly bodily experience feeling loved:
When receiving intimate touch, if you feelingly let-in the rapture and the sensuous flow of Love as it emanates inside your inner body space as Eros Body and let Love have you, allow Love to penetrate you – head, heart, belly, and your flesh, amid all self-violent inner dialogue that arises… then, Love will suffuse your flesh.
This practice increases Loves’ Eros Body presence that breathes sensuousness throughout your inner body space, which so thoroughly suffuses your flesh with rapture that your body becomes devoured by Love.
Every day, whenever you can find quiet time, abide in your personal inner-body Stillness and feel the sensations in your inner body space as a tonal atmosphere. In inner Stillness, feelingly sense and be with the subtle nuances of the sensations of your Eros Body – as the sensations of Love’s Breath flowing in your inner body space. When Love’s sensuous flow – that express in you as Eros Body – is present, open to the sensations, receive them, take the sensations in, let them have you, and tend them by orienting your feeling awareness inward to anchor your embodied feeling presence with the sensations of Love.
Your disposition is receptive, openhearted, undefended, sensual, in loving regard – you utterly die into Love – you ask Love to:
“Take me as much as you give yourself to me.”
This death of control gives birth to unbroken inner feeling contact with the sensuous flow of Love.
To maintain contact with the inner sensations of Love, live your life in synchrony with the slower tempo of your inner body, and adjust your life-pace accordingly – so you can remain present, inwardly oriented, in contact with Love’s subtle inner body micro-nuances of Breath, and bodily live this Love. You have a specific portal to intimacy through the inner tone of Stillness by which you can live this Love while you are in the marketplace:
Orient inwardly, and live in a slow inner tempo in feeling contact with Loves’ sensuous inner body flow is the secret to living in Eden while fully living your life inside the hypermasculine matrix.
Another powerful practice for restoring body to its original Indestructible Innocence as Sacred Vessel of Love is to feel for yourself the sensations while being bodily loved through Intimate Touch during Sacred Body Rites with your Sacred Consort.
If you bodily open, trust, surrender, and fully receive the sensuousness of Love that flows as Eros in your inner body unconditionally, amid all the protests of the hypermasculine, you will enjoy an extremely powerful alchemy for healing and wholeness:
We are afraid of our Eros Body and desire, and we are terrified of arousal. Therefore we dare not feel the sensuousness of Love, nor surrender to them unconditionally to receive Love, or let it in during intimate touch for fear of self-violent communication, and re-experiencing hypermasculine’s brutal self-punishments.
Feeling receptivity to the your erotic sensuous is ‘the walk’ of unwaveringly being with, and feeling all the intensity – of fear, recoil, control, false boundaries, spiritual by-pass, desire, or arousal – while you are being touched, without acting on any of it.
Sacred Body Rites restores body to its Original Indestructible Innocent state:
Criatura is Holy Grail brimming with Mother Love for the benefit for all creation.
The Sacred Mystery of ‘body’ is its power to vulnerably emanate Tender Mother Love.
Love unites all fragmented aspects of our consciousness, restoring it to Wholeness.
Consciousness, when made Whole, provides the space to further evolve Love.
This Secret Sacred Marriage never ends.
To bodily open to and receive the sensations, desire, longing, and arousal that is present during Sacred Body Rites you need to feel bodily safe, which requires that you feelingly inhabit your inner body space. ‘Feeling safe’ is not an outside job, having to to with the behavior of others. Rather, feeling safe arises by feelingly being in your body and sensing how that feels safe. As mentioned, inhabiting your inner body space with feeling awareness is different from looking down into the body from above with an unfeeling witness consciousness. You also trust yourself, and your Sacred Consort with whom you are celebrating Sacred Body Rites. Your partner must be in impeccable feeling contact with his authentic boundaries, and guided by the inner flow of Love that he fiercely abides in, in unwavering feeling presence inside himself.
He touches you without projection, or leaking his desire and need into your body – as object, or going inside your inner body space in order to fix, heal you, move your energy, balance your chakras, ‘do to,’ or ‘get’ self-gratification from you.
When you are touched by a man who inwardly abides inside his inner body, amid his authentic boundaries – by resting inside the dynamic tension of opposites – your inner feminine flow of sensuousness of your Eros Body – as Love – feels safe to arise, emanate, come out to play, and suffuse your whole inner body space with soft, sweet, orgasmic, sensuous ecstasy and arousal amid increasing depth of intimacy and intensity.
Receiving your sensuous erotic flow increases the potency of your Eros Body, suffusing it with The Love that restores bodily flesh to its original state as Holy Grail.
While receiving intimate touch, not only do you allow yourself to bodily enjoy the sensuousness, the erotic splendor, desire, longing, and arousal, you also practice unconditionally and feelingly being with any hypermasculine intensity that arises inside you. This includes all the objectification, separation, naming, labeling, spiritual by-pass, self-violent communications, self-hatred, undeserving, guilt, fear, of being deluded, tricked, abused, having doubts about this practice as being ‘wrong,’ and that the evoked feelings of Eros, need, desire, longing, arousal, and Love is ‘bad,’ as well as the projections we have put on the provides as abuser, perpetrator, etc….and on it goes.
Practicing abiding in the ‘dynamic tension of opposites’ means you can feelingly be with any intensity, weather it is recoil, avoidance, shut down, or deeply erotic orgasmic sensations, powerful desire, arousal, fear, rage, abuse, etc., whatever it is, you let it be inside, as it is, without projecting it onto an object: a situation, or your consort – ‘out there.’
This process of abiding in your innerness, and feelingly being with intensity or intimacy, reverses the direction of Love – from up and out of the body into separation – to inside and down into the body and all your cells unite with Love.
While abiding in your innerness, the energy of Love implodes inside the cells as the potency of Love’s Radiance into the inner body space that suffuses all your cells with The Love that unites all things and which is felt as an erotic connection with all that is.
Practicing free-flowing attention amid unwavering presence, by feelingly being with the sensations and all intensity and intimacy that arises – ecstatic or horrible – and letting it be as it is without adding self-critical commentary to the already critical commentary is what gradually heals the hypermasculine imbalance, and restores the Wholeness to body as a realized irrevokable union of Love and Consciousness.
By now, you get the fundamental importance of healing the hypermasculine disposition that objectifies and creates the dissociative, body-mind split, and spiritual by-pass. Without recognition of the hypermasculine, utter bodily union with Love, as enfleshment, is fantasy.
Click here for a detailed article on how to support a man: Healing our Grail Wound
Barry Long says, ‘there is not a man alive who is not compelled to masturbate even when living with a fully active sexual partner. However, when Love awakens in the man through regular practice of letting Love be in charge of his penis while inside his partner’s vagina, his need for ejaculation will gradually subside. Meanwhile, until that occurs, he masturbates without inner images, or he only uses inner images of the vagina and not inner pictures of women’s faces.’ A practice I recommend for this is to maintain feeling presence in your inner body space – by whole-body inner breathing through the inner breathing portal in the perineum and genitals. When you practice this while masturbating it spreads the ejaculatory intensity from the penis to the whole inner body space in which whole body orgasms occur without ejaculation. If you ejaculate, do not lay a guilt trip on yourself; keep guilt out of it.
When a man’s penis not surrendered to Love he will be over-excitable, and can become sexually aggressive and domineering at the slightest hint of sex. A hypermasculine driven male creature is helpless to his testosterone-driven need to procreate, which reveals the inherent cruelty in woman’s teasing and flirting with him, and her irresponsible disposition toward man’s inherent sexual-animal nature, which perpetuates a vicious cycle.
If both man and woman are driven by their emotionally drenched complexes, and are possessed by their hypermasculine consciousness and uncontrolled animals, with no Love around, a vicious cycle ensues: man is compelled to ‘get from her,’ through aggressive, dominating sex without Love, and he often suffers premature ejaculation that abruptly ends the possibility of a woman celebrating any Love with him.
Woman in turn, increasingly develops unconscious fear of man’s hypermasculine aggression and his unconscious hatred of the feminine. She feels hateful-in-kind toward the man for having sex without loving her, and she withholds from him and teases, which thereby increases man’s frustration, and deepens his aggressive and dominating behavior toward her out of his hatred for the feminine for her not giving her Love to him…. In this vicious cycle during intercourse, both collapse, and defer to a self-created mutual fantasy world inside themselves, out of which each will use the other to self-gratify through genital orgasm without Love. There is no ability through fantasy, in the dissociative frenzy of exuberance, automaticity, and static filled intensity therein, to sense the sensuous nuances and subtle, erotic body sensations of Love flowing in the inner body space.
A man who have been subjected to a woman’s ‘feindess’ – who out of jealousy attempts to emotionally control his libido – enters a powerful emotional complex known as ‘castration terror.’ Many men will do anything to avoid the perceived terror of castration that harkens back to circumcision it that occurred. However, once a man feels castrated, he becomes defeated in his creative drive in life. There are many men we can observe who are trapped in this complex, and it is one of the cruelest acts one person can do to another – to take away ones vitality in the name of compliance to another’s will over them.
When a man’s intimate partner feels she owns his libido; when she does not trust him and suspects his activities – is jealous of him associating with any other women, and is fearful of loosing her man then, her feindess will rear its controlling strategies over his libido by wielding her sexual power over his sex drive. This control is expressed through teasing and tormenting him with the promise of sex and then withdrawal of it, by jealousy, rage attacks, and even violence. Most men cannot stand up to a woman’s fiendess therefore, he will not confront her; he becomes an emasculated slave to escape her volatile emotions and her onslaught of cruel punishments. Fortunately Sacred Body Rites sessions with a female practitioner can provide a portal out of this complex through Sacred Touch of the testicles, penis, prostate and perineum. A woman can be healed by a male Sacred Body Rites practitioner in the same way.
Love does not contain projection, or over-excitement, even during an orgasm. Orgasm will come for both partners when Love deems it so. Orgasm inside Love is a pure whole body sensory experience that expresses as prolonged, repeating inner waves of sensuous erotic intensity that gradually builds in a quiet, precious, and beautiful way. There will be no trying, no wanting, no getting to, no attachment, and no hurry. Rather, there will be direct sensation of ever-growing pleasure and beauty in the now.
Whole-body orgasm with ejaculation under the charge of Love in unwavering feeling present becomes a powerful quantum ignition that increases the potency of Love’s embodiment to a depth, degree, and on new level of coherence:
Each time it leads to Love’s deeper enfleshment.
Both lovers unite in the eternal present where Love is all that is. They mutually enjoy Union with Love inside, and as each other’s flesh. Here, spiritual union and one’s flesh becomes indistinguishable from Love, or from each other’s flesh. It is as though the flesh-to-flesh interchange of Love continues despite that the physical bodies have separated spatially and are no longer physically celebrating Conscious Love. Each partner reports the distinct sense of physical enfleshed union while celebrating Conscious Love that continues unabated despite being separate physically (See enfleshment).
Now contains no self: it is consciousness, which is Love. Consciousness transmutes physical love making into Celebrating Spiritual Love that realizes Sacred Union with all that is – all the way into the flesh.
By celebrating Conscious Love often and regularly, there will be an increase in Stillness and peace, and a decrease of emotionality and anxiety in the day-to-day lives of the lovers. Eventually, over prolonged practice and celebration of Conscious Love, the lovers will feel that they are living as one flesh united as One Love:
Fully living life in the Spell of the Sensuous is as though we are bodily immersed in the ocean of the embryonic fluid of Love.
The vagina that is open, present, still, soft, wet, effortless, innocent, receptive, passive, and undetermined is a living organ of Love. Yoni-Heart lovingly absorbs into her vagina all the aggression and frustrations of man, and is capable of transmuting the world with her infinite Love.
The penis is a living intelligent organ of Love. When man can give to his woman his unwavering feeling presence while abiding in Stillness with his undefended open heart, he bodily receives and absorbs through his penis all the energetic tensions held in the lips, g-spot, vagina, cervix,and uterus so she can release old pains and emotionality therein. Her entire yoni will increasingly soften while he remains stable, feelingly present, unrushed, gentle, open hearted, and undefended to receive and bodily absorb her energies.
Eventually, her precious feminine energies of Love will arise, gather, and release from her yoni suffusing her whole body and transmit Love to her Consort, and both partners enjoy Love. In turn, man’s consciousness will become more stable, whole, and feelingly present to gather and receive more of these energies of Love with the magnetic, illuminative power of his penis, and he can behold and absorb them despite their near unbearable radiance, beauty, sensuousness, and glorious splendor of Love.
Can a man receive and bodily absorb, as his gift to her, the complete surrender of woman’s precious Love, which is her ultimate gift to him? His capacity to be feelingly present with her Love displays his spiritual capacities as a man.
Only what he can take, can she give. Take me as much as you give yourself to me.
After sufficient practice in celebrating Conscious Love, when emotionality is no longer in control, the partners can let go of the practice of no foreplay, and enjoy Love Play:
Let Love be in charge of whatever arises during touch, kissing, oral, and anal Love. Female Consorts joyously discover a new delight in anal Love when practiced as Conscious Love. It reveals that the anus is yet another secret chamber that when opened like a flower bud becomes an extension of contact with the vagina, cervix, and uterus that fills out and completes the circuit of Yoni-Heart in which total ascent and descent currents of Love utterly unite.
Man adores woman’s yoni as the Holy Shrine, the eye of God that he worships in holy reverence. Touching, tasting, kissing, smelling, peering into, and entering the Holy Shrine with his fingers to further soften the muscular walls and membranes of the vagina as a Divine act in which God – as Love – is more deeply revealed. Woman may practice fully receiving man’s worship of her, breathing in its impact through the pores of her whole body to sense the inner flow of Love therein.
Woman receives the Holy Power in man by fondling and placing his penis in her mouth alternating between moving with the flow of Love and remaining in total Stillness. If man does not go into excitability, and he remains still then she can absorb vast unwavering consciousness, become opened, and blossom into the infinite – the Black Stillness of the Absolute and she dissolves into and become One Love.
Based on the intermix between the various enfoldments of inner body flow and non-separate matter that emerge and become present inside Pure Breath of Love, we can perceive at what point along the spectrum of surrender of ‘self/Self ‘ that ones ego has acquiesced relative to an utter bodily suffusion of Pure Breath of Love.
We ascertain this by noticing how much resistance, fight, or triggering into projection that is demonstrated amid intensity or intimacy. ‘Fight’ manifests as quick, automatic reactions to what is. In other words, when meeting an ‘edge’ of intensity or intimacy it triggers old habitual relational patterns of defense, avoidance, overwhelm, control, suspicion, vigilance, recoil, distraction, instability, irritability and arguments with life (what is), or by-pass, dissociation, shut down, projection onto the practitioner old abuse patterns in which they become the perpetrator and abuser, and so on.
Another revelation is when a someone reveals their lifestyle to us: we hear that they over-will to push through life rather than flow with it, or they avoid and distract themselves from feeling the tough issues. Their life styles are fundamentally stressful, hurry-worry driven, stuck in overdrive, overwhelm, with never enough time to get things done – we all know this place. This is an indicator that ones primary orientation (disposition) is more in the horizontal – ego – rather than the vertical – Stillness – Spaciousness -Love. Besides Stillness Touch sessions to stabilize the inner body space, we can be of service to our stuck partners in this dilemma. First, by being an example ourselves of a vertical orientation through our daily practice of sitting in Stillness, and second, by giving our consorts inner-body practices that reconnect them to the vertical – to their inner body wisdom, to Stillness, and to Pure Breath of Love. Here, Eckhart Tolle characterizes someone who lives in a vertical orientation:
“Presence is a state of inner spaciousness. When you are present, you ask: How do I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment, for the greater good of the whole? In fact, you don’t even need to ask the question. You are still, alert, and open to what is. You bring a new dimension into the situation: space. Then you look and you listen. Thus you become one with the situation. When instead of reacting against a situation, you merge with it, and the solution arises out of the situation itself. Actually, it is not you, the person, who is looking and listening, but the alert Stillness itself. Then, if action is possible or necessary, you take action or rather, right action happens through you. Right action is action that is appropriate to the whole. When the action is accomplished, the alert, spacious Stillness remains. There is nobody who raises his arms in a gesture of triumph shouting a defiant ‘Yeah!’ There is no one who says, ‘Look, I got that done.’ All creativity comes out of inner spaciousness. Once the creation has happened and something has come into form, you have to be vigilant so that the notion of ‘me’ or ‘mine’ does not arise: in other words, if you take credit for what you accomplished, the ego has returned, and the spaciousness has become obscured.”
How do we recognize the hypermasculine, and open to the positive masculine? Below, from an email I received, is a detailed characterization of how the hypermasculine sounds inside us. Brace yourself. This is a ferocious ‘know thyself’ depicting a recognition of the hypermasculine from a female Kali warrior:
“After my Stillness Touch session, I had a powerful unraveling wherein I realized that I projected all of my worst fears, my feelings of utter worthlessness, disease, eternal ‘badness’ on my osteopath. I contacted my own prison of shadows and self-imposed self-hatred, which then became a prism through which I experience the world. When the world is not there to defend itself against my default projections, they all come back to me flushing their bright and garish screens – my personalized times square of billboards – proclaiming how much I SUCK in fluorescent colors and many different languages.
And the scary thing is, the more the person matters to me, the more I hate myself in their presence – and my osteopath really left an impression on me as a healer and a teacher – and then he went silent. The truth is: I do not know why he did so, but I went straight to my dungeon and turned on the “He hates ‘me’ movie.”
It is devastating to see it so clearly after the session with you, because it is the reality of my existence right now. Despite being a beautiful girl with manifold of opportunities for being a healer, a lover, a mother, a wife, a muse, a human being who can rejoice at the sun, the flowers, the joy, and the privilege of being alive.
I spend my life mostly within the crushing walls of my dungeon, demanding that the world convince me that it doesn’t hate me, and it tries, but it can’t, and I spiral right into the pit of the cauldron, and I don’t know what to do Charles. I do not know how to lift this spell off myself, pardon myself, let myself out of prison, and begin to live my precious life.
So my osteopath is a great healer after all, he gave me what I need (whether he knows it or not) because I could have come and lay on his table week after week, but those walls grow back because no one but me can dispel them for me. So far, for all my experiences, and healings, and blessings, and journeys, I always find myself back in the dungeon – isolated from the world by own projections of worthlessness.”
Who cannot relate to this inner tirade of self-violent communication? I sure can.
I remember how grueling it felt when I committed to unwaveringly recognize and unconditionally be with – and feel – my near-constant self-violent, self-critical, inner dialogue, and catch all the self-hateful regard I had toward the feminine, my body, thoughts, emotions, and my fluctuating will forces.
My body was something I barely tolerated because it was ‘not real’ when compared to ‘real’ spirit. I still have some self-forgiveness to navigate here: I cringe over how I abused my body’s precious will-forces for selfish gain through strategies of covert seduction, innuendo, and subtle manipulation of others libido upon which I fed. I shake my head in astonishment over how much I self-deprived due to spiritual notions that the feminine, body, and the sensuous was an impure distraction from ‘The Path,’ which really hid how afraid of Love I was, and how undeserving of Love I felt. Even more humbling was when I chose to face, be with, stew inside, and unconditionally feel all my personal hypermasculine strategies, which were similar to what our Heroine described about herself in her email. I am still regularly astonished at how much I project upon another who I want them to be based on my idealism, and then I feel disappointed when they are acting as themselves rather than as my projection of them.
In our culture, we have all experienced at one time or another some level of disembodiment. This manifests as various forms of disconnect: mind is separate from body, which, in turn places us out of touch with the feelings of the heart and the sensations of the belly. When not present to sensations in the body, we do not perceive the pulsations of the earth, or the infinite sensuous field of one living substance that pervades all that is: these are aspects of one spectrum. The embodiment practices we offer will help you more consistently inhabit yourself in presence, and stabilize your awareness to remain present to the ever-unfolding stream of life – as sensation – in a more fully embodied way.
Essentially, these sensing practices will help you contact the sensuous wisdom of the body through the medium of stillness. By grounding in the stillness of heart and belly you will learn to open up your feeling presence to the sensation of the invisible flow of your own unfolding consciousness, and thereby meet the conditioned patterns that block your access to the body as a limitless sensation field of presence that is erotically one with all that is.
In your heart is a mysterious portal that interconnects the infinite ocean of Love to the sensuous consciousness in your body. Ground substance is the inner ocean of the body. It is a liquid connective tissue that pervades the inside and outside of every cell with consciousness, and unites the awareness of 50 trillion cells as one consciousness. So body as microcosm reflects macrocosm: our individual consciousness is an expression of 50 trillion cells which, in turn, is in direct contact with the infinite consciousness of the Whole. Paradoxically, by descending inward to heart we contact our inner ocean, which is one with the outer shimmering, pulsing oceanic heart of mother earth. Since the heart of mother earth is one with the infinite heart, we directly realize ourselves as Mother Love – all that is – expressed as body.
Embodied contact with Stillness reawakens the coherence of our heart field as infinite awareness of sensation through which we can evolve without limit. Most of us feel this inherently as a bodily knowing, even though we do not know how we know. The good news is your realization becomes more explicit by contacting your heart field.
Yet, to simply be with life’s sensuous unfolding, as it is, challenges us. How do we drop our pre-occupation with how life “ought” to be? Habitually clinging to our expectations creates static in the body’s liquid ground substance, which blurs our contact with the free-flow of life as sensation. At any moment, however, we can choose to relax and let ourselves be carried by the sensations of ever flowing now.
Another challenge is that rational mind takes the one essence that pervades all that is, and separates it from us. This ego disposition needs a subject and object – a ‘me’ and a ‘that.’ If everything in life is interconnected, then is the subject-object perspective a misperception? True, our bodies are separated by skin, and yet, each body is permeated by one presence that infuses into, and infinitely expands the boundaries of ‘body.’ As we can see, separating the body, presence, or sensations into parts creates a separate self, which can so deeply impact us that we feel separate from source. We subsequently loose sensuous contact with the now.
To surrender, relax control, rest in the disposition of ‘I don’t know,’ and then, fall into heart we arrive in the now. Our receptive presence to the inner sensations builds our basic trust in life’s inner streaming as it unfolds moment by moment. Meanwhile, the flow of now is free to be exactly as it is, and in our original innocence, we accept it.
Stillness Practices cultivate embodied feeling presence, and it turns out that whole-body felt sense of the tone of the inner body atmosphere – as sensation – is an unerring guide to this mystery. Whole-body felt sense is a function of our natural state that is one with the wisdom of the body and nature. This Sophia is sensuousness that expresses out of Absolute Stillness as the Eternal Feminine principle that unites all parts with the Whole, and links us to our boundless nature – as all that is. By relaxing into heart and contacting the sensuous, body unites with Soul, which erotically interconnects us with all life. This erotic union includes our senses, which unite as a sacred sense, Spiritual Touch – a conscious, embodied, felt, erotic contact with all that is.
Touching another while seated in this matrix we contact inner body sensation as a conscious, liquid, protoplasmic whole-body flow that breathes in ebb-tide fashion like the waves of an ocean. We realize that body’s sensuous ‘inner’ waves are one with the infinite ‘outer’ ocean of sensuous consciousness that pervades everything. While being touched we realize that by asserting that we have separate parts in separate bodies in denial of this sensuous unified flow in the body is like insisting that waves are not part of the ocean. This is how our ego’s separating sense becomes transparent to us when we touch, or are touched by another in natural state. We realize our natural state, from within body and retain our humanity and our differences without loosing contact with our common infinite divinity.
Repeatedly being touched from this natural disposition gradually restores to us our native heart perception by which we bodily realize the sensuous of wholeness as eros. That is why in my book Stillness health is redefined as wholeness, which is merely erotic conscious embodied contact with all that is. Rather than feeling bodily unrest, lack, fear, doubt, and dissatisfaction that result from orienting outwardly toward separateness, we, instead through Stillness Touch, realize embodied wholeness imbued with calm, trust, and confidence in being.
In summary, our inner orientation to sensation results in a wholeness that arises from embodied contact with the sensations of inner-body flow of Love that is connected with The Love that is all that is. The courage to cultivate the inner receptivity, be guided, and carried by the sensations of inner-body flow becomes a way of life. This choice is radically different from objectifying body from psyche, and focusing on what is ‘broken’ about us, and then, striving to “spiritually” improve on it. I have certainly succumbed to this strategy most of my life.
When we touch, or are touched by, another while relaxing all need to fix anything, and instead, humbly attune to the wisdom of life’s ever-unfolding flow of sensations that emanate from within the body, we discover our authenticity. Touching the body’s inner wisdom unites the parts as a whole, which leads us to the inner calm of being cradled by Love. We realize Presence as our heart essence: accepting Life-as expression of Love, we cease controlling, and trust that Love can manage us, and all that is, perfectly well without our help, so we relax and let it be.
We experience that the capacity to face ourselves – and trust this very moment – as it is – and to let it be – is facilitated by the simple power of human touch. We learn to stand as feeling witness to our own humanity, and to serve as a silent witness in support of others. Essentially, the mystery of touch is a powerful means for mutual body-to-body transmission of the sensations of unconditional Love.
These are specific practices that are shared between a man and a woman for restoring the original functions of Lingam and Yoni by Anaiya Sophia’s incredible work on the Seven Gates. Please consider joining her course on opening the Seven Gates.
Anaiya Sophia’s Youtube:
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
The lingam muscle runs all the way from the tip of the penis to bury itself deep into the prostate muscle in the anus. It is a curving muscle that connects all the four gates of the male lingam together in one smooth, fluid motion. A healed lingam is supple, open, and attuned to the heart of the man. It is an instrument of love that both gives love and can receive it from the Divine, and from the giving yoni and womb.
Activating the Male Gates is a deep honoring of the masculine from both the man and the woman, that then prepares the man AND the woman to enter into sacred lovemaking. Similarly, as the man serves to open up his female partner’s Gates, so he too is prepared in a different way. Both partners serve each other to open up both sets of gates, and in so doing they are serving themselves as well.
Once done properly, the man will be consecrated into having the feeling to make love and not have sex. Sex alone is violent, love is not. The divinity within the man and his lingam can reawaken, and his soul will be behind his movements, feelings, and beingness whilst making love.
The soul within the lingam has been forgotten by most people as it holds a key to love and the power for activating and healing of the womb. This is why the lingam has been called a ‘wand of light,’ as there is an actual shaft or pillar of light lying within its spirit body or psychic flesh, which can activate and bring a woman into her womb, creating a hormonal cascade of love.
Such a womb activator of a man is rare, but will become more common if the full potential of sacred relationships are to be realized and embodied
Of course, all the gates can only open in honor and unconditional loving giving from the heart‐soul in pure devotion. Much of the wisdom and ways to heal and love a woman’s first 4 Gates and the man’s first 4 Gates are similar.
In the activation of the lingam’s innate intelligence and soul feeling connection, both partners attention is placed on the lingam, the soul, and Divine Love as a unit. The lingam becomes the object of your partner’s total loving attention and adoration in body, heart and soul. Treat it as if it is God’s Lingam.
This healing and activation is a union of prayer, sexual energy, human love, reverence , and Divine Love. Breath and sound may help to activate and move these energies deeper into the roots of the sexual force, lying deep within the sacred lingam. The woman too feels her own love deepen, and receives greater love in this giving.
As this happens, we make slow love, enjoying giving and receiving in mutual pleasure, feeling the different ways to share love without need, and in mutual honoring. Breath of Love as flowing movement rather than just physical movement aligns both partners to the subtleties of Stillness-as-Love. Pleasure and bliss, loving communion and surrender to the flow of loving life force through both bodies and souls are the ways in which the sacred, healed lingam can be the opener of the way to love for both partners.
The separation of God from sex in the religions and in mainstream society affects almost every human being. Human love between two people most of us can understand in the act of making love. But God? The one we pray to and who showers us with Divine Love and gratitude, the One we come from? Our Creator? How can we have sex with that? Isn’t that …wrong somehow? Does it not feel … ‘off’ and weird?
It can be challenging to accept and really feel that God is part of and within our sexuality, and we can treat and connect a lingam or yoni to Him. This is because we have been culturally and genetically programmed to believe and ‘feel’ that God and sex together is blasphemous and sacrilegious. And this disconnection is due to a genetic tampering that has affected the culture we live by the values that have been passed down to us throughout the generations.
This genetic programming has been insidious, and has affected so many generations of humans that it has almost become accepted as the norm. Underneath this hypermasculine veiling, penetrated by the use of loving and sacred desire for God as Beloved, lies our birthright. God also lives in the bedroom!
God can be connected to through the lingam, yoni , and womb once we can accept this, feeling the taboo of it, and feeling whatever emotions arise. Involving God in the act of making love is our birthright, and with our human love and emotion hooked up to the engine and desire of sexual power, we can build a bridge to God. The union of sex, soul, human love, and Divine Love holds some of our greatest power and potential to embody God.
The Sacred Spot , activated through Anointment, Trust, Appreciation, Safety, Honor
Start by making sure the anus is clean. Have a shower. Then, get comfortable with pillows and a towel underneath the bottom of your man. Be facing him, with your face near his lingam, because this massage is best done whilst the female partner gently holds, kisses, and strokes the lingam.
But first, start with a anointment of the lower belly, upper legs, and whole bottom. Gently release the tension, with gentle but ever deeper strokes into the perineum and cheeks with some oil. Then, allow the oil to gently drop into the anus, and start to softly anoint the anus opening in sensual circles. The anus will slowly relax and open, and as it does, one finger can gently slide in, almost be drawn in, with minimal effort. Continue to breathe.
Now, gently curl the finger so it is stroking the gland in there. You will feel it. It is like a beckoning motion, like, ‘come here.’ Stroke and kiss his lingam at the same time to activate Eros and arousal.
Feel it all. What emotions arise in this?
If anointment is done in loving softness then openings, deep physical and emotional relaxation, and healing can occur. Reconnection and healing of childhood traumas, anger , and pain release; reclamation of sexual power, freedom from self‐judgment and taboos, and pleasure can arise. The ability to make love for longer periods of time can also increase.
Love is the Whole of the Law.
Opening activated through Touch, Trust, Gratitude, and Honor
Midway between the testicles and anus lies a small indentation, that when pushed on can go up into the body up to half an inch. Be gentle and push inward a little at a time. He will feel the pressure deep inside, and it may be uncomfortable at first. This area is worked on until it softens, then the man will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory release. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation.
You can anoint his Lingam with your right hand and his Sacred Spot with your left hand. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to his Sacred Spot. Be a best friend and healer in this moment. You are creating a place of trust, safety, and intimacy.
The Wand of Light Activated through Lingam Anointment, Lingam Gazing, Gratitude, and Love
Lingam gazing requires sacred intent on behalf of both partners to be vulnerable, open, and honest with their feelings. Both partners relax and take a few deep breaths. Have your man lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at you. Place a pillow under his hips. His legs are spread apart, knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his lingam clearly exposed.
Both settle into your hearts gently. The woman makes herself comfortable, lies in -between his legs, and looks at his lingam with relaxed, soft, receptive gaze. Both partners breathe and settle into silence for at least 5 minutes to allow feelings to arise without mental disturbance. As the lingam gazing continues, all kinds of feelings can arise. At some point, the woman increases the intensity of her focus on the lingam. Play with this; vary the intensity, and see what happens!
Focused lingam gazing can take both partners into a state of meditation and trust, and may bring the man into many different feelings, such as insecurity, shame, embarrassment, unworthiness, memories of abuse. Eventually as the gaze relaxes back to soft and open the feeling of being adored and healing arises from being able to receive this energy. The urge to giggle may arise, which is fine, as it a release of energy hidden behind embarrassment and shame. Just try not to use it as an excuse to stop going deeper.
Remember to keep breathing and allow the feelings to arise for both of you. Many things can happen! This is also healing and insightful for the woman. It enables her to honor the sacred masculine and also feel many of the judgments she has ever held about the masculine and sexuality in general. Just allow it all , and commune and express your experience with each other. Lingam gazing can last for 30 to 45 minutes. If you treat it as a sacred healing, this it will become. It can then lead into the woman kissing the lingam, whilst both partners are still in this vulnerable state, which is a beautiful opening and loving experience.
As one woman experienced, in this spirit: ‘For the first time, I can see a man’s lingam not as a sex tool. It has nothing to do with sex or lust. I saw the lingam with my heart, and I felt immediately my heart opening for him. With the opening of my heart, I also felt my womb and yoni responding, expanding, and longing. I felt so much tender care, drinking him in with my eyes, holding him gently in my gaze, fully exploring his lingam. I wanted to know him in every way. I felt so much love from my heart and womb flowing out of me directed to this beautiful lingam in front of my eyes. I felt respect, admiration, tenderness, and deep longing to open myself completely to receive him totally, in all ways. As he softly moves under my loving focused gaze, I feel my heart and womb expanding with more love… feeling so much gratitude.’
Lingam anointment helps to open and heal the gate of the perineum, the gate in -between the testicles, and the many nerve endings and acupuncture points on the lingam that correspond to other parts of the body and energy systems. Many ailments may be cured by lingam anointment. Lingam anointment is also deeply pleasurable, and when applied with love and gratitude it becomes deeply healing.
Have your man lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at you. Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are spread apart, knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his lingam clearly exposed.
Before contacting the lingam, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently stroke the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, and nipples to get your man to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
Place oil in your hands and apply lovingly to the shaft of the lingam and the testicles. Begin gently anointing the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Softly anoint the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Anoint the 2nd gate, deep in between the testicles. Then anoint the area above the lingam, on the pubic bone, and finally the perineum, the area between the testicles and anus.
Now take a lot of time when anointing the shaft of the lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left.
Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands. Anoint the head of the lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Anoint all around the head and shaft.
Woman’s disposition while massaging: The energy generated from lingam anointment can be channeled with prayer to bring Divine Love into the lingam. Both partners can choose a prayer and the woman can be praying whilst anointing the lingam. The woman can also bring in her human love feelings for her man into the anointment – gratitude, love, and appreciation. Shower Love on your man. Shine your love through your heart into your arms, down into your hands, and onto his lingam. Shine your love through your eyes into his as you look at him. He is the Sacred Man, and all divinity within all men are available through him now. How will you treat the masculine part of God? If you can drop into the space, allow your hands and whole body to become a Sacred Yoni that caresses, loves, adores, devours him with Love.
The Lingam may or may not go soft as you do the lingam massage. Do not worry if it does go soft, and does not get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that your man is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the lingam to soften a little before resuming anointment. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery by coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing softens the urge to ejaculate.
One of the challenges a woman will face while anointing the lingam is characterized here: ’When I get to lingam worship during SBR, I feel blocked. I do not trust myself when the male is aroused and his lingam is erect. If I continued with the worship through lingam anointment I am afraid I’d get so aroused that I would want to wrestle him off the table, pin him down, and fuck him. On the other side, I do not trust that the man will mind his boundaries…’
As SBR practitioner, becoming extremely comfortable with arousal – yours and the recipient’s – is crucial so Love can come through.
The Lips of Love – the Gratitude Spot (G-spot) – The Blooming Red Rose of the Clitoris
Labia: The labia are the lips of love that form the entrance to the yoni. They are guardians not just of the body, but also of soul. They are the flowering sentinels who serve your sacred well and life force, and whose message is ‘I honor myself.’
G-Spot: The second gate, the G-spot is the gate of gratitude. It is a fountain of ecstatic, erotic pleasure that gives both partners the gift of a woman’s arousal.
Clitoris: The red rose, a symbol of the Grail and of Magdalene, is the third gate – the clitoris. The third gate opens only in the blissful purity of love.
The journey requires you to unite the light and dark rivers of Shakti. This deeply loving practice of opening the gates is an integral part of clearing the eighteen pathways. This culminates in the Shakti Circuit, which gathers all the energy to flow up the spine from the womb, through to the yoni, the perineum, the anus, the base of the spine, and then up through the interweaving currents of the spinal column into the Mouth of the Goddess.
First Gate Youtube:
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
The first gate is associated with the element of Earth – and opens with feelings of trust and praise. One enters the first gate with praise and appreciation. Praise begins to heal you of your own subjective, or inner, experience of life. It is a foundation for love, as appreciation leads to true gratitude and the ability to see the beauty in all beings. Praise, the gatekeeper of the first gate, allows us to let go of limiting habits of self-judgment and condemnation, and awakens us to the beauty and divinity of others, and ourselves.
As the first gate is cherished, she adorns you. When in her essence, she throbs with fragrance and her full lips bloom, sweet and inviting. To receive the fullness of her hidden gifts, pause and reflect before entering, and appreciate the entering. The more reverence and gratitude you present, the sweeter the heart gifts you will receive in return.
In approaching the yoni with a sense of being honored by a great presence, rather than being out to ‘get’ something, you open into infinite and heartful possibilities of experience and rapture.
Praise brings you into the beauty and divinity of another, and of your Self. Honoring and appreciating are the basis for kindness and gratitude, the basis for love. Without praising, without appreciating, we shrink and wilt into our ego, allowing it to be the master with the soul as servant. Vulnerability and humility open the doorway to love and intimacy. Without vulnerability and humility, appreciation and devotion, the gates can never fully open, and the Grail womb cannot be entered. In giving these qualities, we receive them.
The first gate opens us into trust. For women, this trust is about surrendering to your own nature to the soft, open, receptivity of your being. Trust yourself, and what it is you are letting in, or keeping out. The wounds women carry here, both personal and collective, revolve around this issue of trust. For men to come fully into this first gate they must approach it with both praise and purity, fully honoring this sacred portal into the feminine.
For a woman to surrender into this space of trust she must respect her own sanctity and feel respect and praise from the man she is with. The nature of relationship today has led to a deep forgetting of this sacred path, and most women hold a great unconscious sadness at the loss of their connection to the Divine Feminine, which is accessed through this first gate. And with it, the loss of the profound sense of communion and wholeness that comes from fully honoring, and being honored by, your partner.
True praise and appreciation allows the small self to fall away. It is this small self’s fear that in praise it will be giving away its power, love, and beauty to something outside itself. There is nothing outside itself. In praise you feel the beauty, vision, and perfection of another welling up inside yourself, and speak it—to honor the very gift and wonder of that person’s existence . . . of all existence. To see, feel, and honor another’s presence fully, whether human or Divine, allows the gift you perceive in another into your own heart, body, and soul. In fully giving your appreciation to another you feel the depth to which he or she is always and only a reflection of your self.
To be devoted means to be committed to giving to your partner, to your soul purpose, to your healing, and to God. These qualities enable all the gates to open and flower. Devotion is serving the flowering of love, allied with the appreciation of another’s efforts, struggles, or endeavors that can give that person the impetus to continue, persist, push on, especially when he or she struggles to do so. So devotion is gratitude for something that touches you emotionally, for someone else’s struggles or efforts, for the wonderful gifts of life that creation surrounds us with.
Disposition of the man: For men to come fully into this first gate they must approach it with both praise and purity, fully honoring this sacred portal into the feminine.
A growing number of women seem to hate the appearance of their vulvas, the first gate. Many women, some as young as fourteen, are worried that their genitalia is somehow disfigured or malformed. Much of this is due to mis-education, with the lack of any real guidance on how to be a woman, what a woman is, and how we are all different.
Just as each lingam is different from all others, so is each yoni different from all others. Adding to their self-doubt, many women are subject to comments from boyfriends who have not stepped into their true masculinity; such comments play on girls’ deep insecurity about their womanhood. With no role models, and secular families having no interest in what lies behind the appearance, women are increasingly becoming educated by the media on what a woman is, or should be.
The shame surrounding the first gate or the lips of the vagina/yoni is reaching epidemic proportions in modern day culture. Vaginal cosmetic surgery has doubled in the UK over the past five years, and in the private sector there has been a 300 percent increase in labia plasty, making it the fastest growing form of cosmetic surgery in the UK. This surgery simply makes the yoni ‘look’ a certain way. It is purely aesthetic, and does not accentuate pleasure; it is designed solely to make the yoni appear attractive according to modern definitions of what attractive is, defined in this case by men.
In Europe, metal chastity belts were clipped around the vagina, to keep it ‘pure’ for the husband’s private use. Of course many diseases and infections arose from this practice. Vaginal surgery was done in primitive cultures to control women, to keep them in their place. In Africa, clitoral and vaginal cutting are still commonplace; ritual surgeries are designed to stop women from having pleasure so they will stay with their husbands. The modern ‘choice’ to have vaginal surgery goes back to the same psycho-sexual roots; shame, and a lack of love for the sacred space of the lips of the yoni. This deep wound allies with the need to keep up with the pressures of modern day consumer society, where sex sells almost everything, including the idea of love. Just as breast implants and tummy tucks are now commonplace, so is clitoral and hymen stitching, with vagina alteration becoming the next fad. In 2008 a poll on UK TV’s Channel 4 reported that over 42 percent (3375 votes) of women polled said yes, they had considered having vaginal surgery to enhance the look of their vaginas.
Underlying all of this is the ignorance that surrounds the vagina and true sensuality. This ignorance, fostered by a lack of open discussion, is a breeding ground for insecurity and self-judgment, self- loathing, and fear. The vagina is the passage inside, and the word literally means ‘somewhere to sheathe your sword’. Even the word means a woman’s sexual organs exist only in relation to men.
The word yoni, from Sanskrit, is a far more appropriate term for this sacred space from which all life emerges. It means the divine passage, the holder, the matrix of generation, the origin or primal source of all being, the birthplace of the universe. Each child is considered to be borne from a yoni of stars—constellations that prevailed during the child’s birth.
The yoni or first gate is a temple where the divine essence of a woman can be connected with and worshipped. It is the gateway to the infinite, which rises through six other gates into the womb, the birth space for all life. It is where a woman learns true self-love and self-respect by only allowing in that which is loving and honoring of her essence.
In the Hebrew tradition, the first gate is seen as the entrance to eternity, and it is here that the fear of death dwells. Meditating in this space dissolves all kinds of jealousy.
The First Gate - Lips of the Yoni for women & perineum for men – the three KEY areas of healing are:
Distrust of Sexuality, Sensuality – your Sexual Nature (pornography, promiscuousness, sexual experiences from past exploration), affairs, secret sexual encounters, sleeping with married men and women AND the opposite energetic: Withholding, dis-engaging, suppressing, losing interest (and yet masturbating)
Distrust of your own gender, other females, other males – seduction, secrecy of sexual attractions, polyamory.
Distrust of the opposite gender – using the sex as an act of release, sex without love, sex without any form of connection, sex to release anger, rage, jealously, sex to claim ownership, and sex intended to harm (physically, emotionally, psychologically)
Sexuality is the most taboo threshold within human nature. It is ABSOLUTELY one of the last issues to be looked at and elevated. And it is to this cause, that I am dedicated.
A common practice for starting to heal the first gate is called yoni gazing. This requires a sacred intent on behalf of both partners to be vulnerable, open, and honest with their feelings.
1. To begin this practice, the sacred woman lies down and spreads her legs.
2. The sacred man lies between her legs, and looks at her yoni intently, with relaxed focus. This can quickly take the man into an alpha state of meditation, and bring the woman into different feelings of insecurity and shame, and eventually peace and healing. The urge to giggle may arise, which is fine, as it provides a release of energy hidden behind embarrassment and shame. Just do not use it as an excuse to stop going deeper.
3. Remember to keep breathing and allow the process. This practice is remarkably healing and insightful for men as well as women; it enables them to honor the feminine and also to hear all the judgments they have ever held about women’s bodies.
4. Just allow it all and do not forget to commune and express your experience with each other after the practice is complete.
5. The yoni gazing can last for up to 45 minutes. If you treat it as a sacred healing practice, it will become one.
The first gate is the sacred doorway into your most holy of places. Many women have forgotten this, and have allowed energies to enter that do not respect or honor them. In essence, these women have disrespected themselves by allowing these energies in. We each have the power to demand that those who enter within us do so with love and honor.
Many people find anger, pain, and mistrust stored in the first gate. These emotions come from screams not expressed, from anger and hatred toward men for their ignorance in putting women down. Here is stored rage at the disrespect shown to children who have been molested, those who have been sold into sex slavery and shut themselves off from feeling any other emotion beyond this gate just to survive the pain. Here are heard the cries of these children, ‘Where is my protector,where is my mom and dad? Unfortunately, many women were shamed around sexuality during adolescence by their fathers or mothers.
Sadness and loss of trust from having been shamed, violated, and unable to protect oneself reside in this first gate. What affects one woman affects all women in the web of life, and it is only through feeling the emotions of the collective in the first gate—the first gate of all women, that you can be healed of them.
As these emotions heal in you, the web of life becomes that much brighter for all. Entering a woman and ‘going for it’ without respect for the yoni, without foreplay – just shoving the penis in for man’s own pleasure and self gratification – is where sex becomes violence, ownership, conquering, and animal aggression. By these actions, women lose their sense of beauty and sanctity, their sense of being cherished. Gradually their feminine power begins to fade away.
The sense of safety, trust, and vulnerability recedes as numbness sets in. The lips become desensitized to true intimacy, and many women have little or no feeling beyond this gate.
This gate thus holds great sadness — for the loss of sanctity, all the ways it has been violated and forgotten. When the gate and its attendant sorrows are cleared, a woman is able to fully trust her own being. She holds herself and her sexuality as sacred, and knows when to surrender, when to be open, and also when to exert discernment and create boundaries. She does not trust blindly — she respects and knows her own intuition, and does not give this power away.
She is a woman who knows her own worth and grants entrance only to those who are deserving and appreciative.
Second Gate Youtube:
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The second gate is associated with the element of water and opens with the feelings of gratitude and connection.
It is said that gratitude is the attitude of enlightenment. Flowing naturally in the wake of praise, gratitude begins to counter the judgments we have around our relationship with our bodies, and with the world around us. As the judgments we hold in these areas dissolve, we reconnect with the world as it is, rather than the world as we want it to be.
I often refer to the to nectar at the second date as the “Sweet Honey/Milk” that is secreted as an aftermath of experiencing pure innocence. A nectar that the world has not known for a very long time. This is the Divine Milk/Honey that is often described as seeping out of the Goddess herself.
When gratitude is showered into the G-spot, it opens. Then Shakti herself wells up with gratitude at being experienced in her fullness for the first time in eons. She beams with exuberance, ready to share her gifts and knowledge. In her gratitude, Shakti wants to pour outward in even greater amounts, knowing that as she gives, she receives.
The G-Spot is the Gate of Gratitude. In its wholeness, the Gratitude Spot is the fountain of ecstatic, erotic pleasure where both partners receive the gift of the woman’s expression and arousal. When gratitude is showered into the G –Spot, it opens. Then gratitude wells up from the flow of Shakti as she is seen, heard, felt in her fullness for the first time in eons. She beams with an exuberance to share her gifts and knowledge.
Gratitude results in a desire to give constantly; the circular flow of giving and receiving builds upon itself, which allows a continuous outpouring of love to flow from the soul filled with Shakti. This is one of Shakti’s secrets that she does not reveal immediately. She lets you explore and discover her intimately first, feeling your way through ancient yet familiar pathways. She shares energy, she heals, she clears. She builds trust and then she expands into her true essence, letting you fall into a river of bliss.
In her gratitude for being acknowledged, she lets you fall in love with her, and shows you your greatest potentials.If you thank all things in your life, you gain a deeper understanding of your power as creator. You see that you truly have created everything that is happening to you, and that, in your magnificence, you have done so in order to learn ever-deeper lessons about compassion and love. This starts with your own love for yourself, and compassion for what you put yourself through in order to learn and remember.
If you bless all occurrences and people in your life, you spiritualize your whole experience, down to the most mundane events. Everything becomes an opportunity to grow into peace; everything becomes an opportunity to bring loving wisdom into your everyday life. The more you see this, the quicker you evolve and transmute any egoic resistance to the flow of gratitude.
For gratitude is the current of love that weaves its way throughout all life and all people. The more you thank the deeper lessons that darkness and fear present to you, the more you see their purpose, and the more humble you become to the beauty and divine orchestration of life as it is occurring to you now, in the present.
Gratitude flows in both the dark and white rivers; without it, there is neither true power nor the presence to create divinity. Kindness and gratitude are interlinked. In gratitude one realizes that you cannot get love, you can only receive it, and you can only fully receive it by giving it away.
To have all, give all. To be truly happy is to live in gratitude. Living in gratitude and in grace means accepting whatever comes one’s way, both good and bad, with thankfulness. There is no exception to what one can be thankful for, as gratitude wears down our resistance to conflicts, humbles us, and brings us into joy as we start to see that if we thank and bless all things in our life, we enter peace and kindness to all.
In the conflicts that arise, in the ‘unfortunate’ circumstances that happen, there is a lesson that your soul has created in order to find the peace of an open, giving heart. This heart makes all things full by thanking them, and in the process empties itself of any resentment, frustration, or thoughts of harm.
This openness leads to beauty, which arises from the clarity of our own perception. Beauty is not about how a person, place, or object looks; it is about how you, who are looking, feel. The beauty that you experience ‘out there’ is a direct reflection of the beauty that is happening inside you. When you are in a state of joy and feel uplifted, everything appears beautiful to you.
What we often describe as beautiful is an interpretation, a view that has been taught to us—a perception that one thing is beautiful, and another is ugly. To see beauty is to see with the heart, to see things as they are, and to appreciate them and connect with them in a heart-centered way. When we truly see reality it is beautiful, as it involves no judgment, no naming or identifying with things, no boxes or ideas, no past history of what we once felt was beautiful.
Without the mind’s judgment and commentary, we can see the beauty in a rotting pile of dung lying on the street.
If you have no judgment about the value of something, then you can appreciate the nature, and use, of all things. In true beauty we do not exclude anything, but embrace it all. Where we do not see beauty, we can see where our minds still judge and misunderstand. Heaven is not somewhere else; it is right here in this perception. In the Hebrew tradition, the second gate represents being caught up in the body, believing it is the only reality. When one is immersed in gratitude, one becomes compassionate, as one leads to the other.
The second gate is a great power generator of the yoni, and as such harbors rage at all the ways women have been disempowered, and have disempowered themselves. Women’s collective memories of being shamed, repressed, tied up, shut up, shut down, raped, savaged — of playing small, of giving their power away to men, of feeling violated and impotent—all are seething and boiling here in the second gate.
The rage comes from feeling powerless at the hands of aggression, both blatant violence and all the passive acts of aggression that have become acceptable in our society. It also is something women direct at themselves for having silenced their own expression. This is the place where women have turned all these acts of sexual violence and unconsciousness against themselves, and have cut themselves off from their own bodies and their own sexuality.
Try this: Thank all the painful and beautiful occurrences that happen to you today, and see how you feel.
The second gate is a well and pit of suffering in the collective consciousness, where rivers of rage and shame manifest. Imagine that every minute of every day somewhere in the world, there is a woman curled up in the fetal position, rocking herself into cathartic slumber. Having been shamed, raped, abused, or routinely taken for granted, she thinks it is her fault, and has cut herself off from herself and from everyone else. She withdraws from life, disengages from the life force, and suppresses her rage at her loss of power. She feels physically helpless to do anything, and her self-worth plummets.
The feelings of isolation generated by this dark river can be healed only by connection to others—by the sweet balm of gratitude and pleasure gifted and shared. As we share our gratitude with others, we begin to feel loved and appreciated over time, and to build feelings of trust and safety.
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
The third gate is associated with the element of fire and opens with the feelings of honor and reverence.
Compassion is the natural response to a life of appreciation and gratitude. As one’s consciousness naturally expands, compassion replaces judgment, which can create experiences of unworthiness and dissatisfaction in many areas of life, including our relationships with others.
The Red Rose, a symbol of the Grail and of Magdalene, is the Third Gate: the clitoris, opener of the way to the cervix, the Fourth Gate, the entrance to the womb. The Third Gate only opens up in the bliss, and purity, of love being lavished upon it in the spirit of giving, and of devotion.
When a woman feels the spirit of devotion being lavished upon her, and upon all beings, she is in contact with the essence of the third gate and her red rose blossoms.
When the third gate of the clitoris is stimulated it creates waves of resonance that nourish the central nervous system, feeding our intuitive and psychic abilities. When clitoral stimulation is accompanied in play, gratitude, appreciation, love and enjoyment, our bodies create more of these same qualities in our whole central nervous system. As this occurs, nerves along the spine can recalibrate and retune. It would be hugely beneficial to become aware of this at the time, taking in nourishing deep breaths and guiding the pleasurable feelings from within the clitoris into the spinal cord and up into the brain.Old programs are deleted, and thought patterns are rewired, enabling us to witness and transcend many limits of the mind that have covered the blooming red rose.
As this gate is connected to and heals, purity, innocence, and sensual pleasure arises to take us into more compassion and a deeper embrace of those parts of ourselves that are lost and isolated. This embrace allows us to heal abuses and feelings of disconnection and numbness from our bodies and our sexuality with soft tenderness, and gentle tears. Vulnerability arises and the hardness cracks as we soften our armor, we soften what is rigid within, the protection and the disconnection, the pain and numbness felt at the clitoris, to allow reconnection and ecstasy to re–ignite, softly, yet surely.
The numbing or disconnection of the clitoris is the main reason why women can not reach orgasm. Their energies are stuck in their heads, thinking, fretting, and worrying. To orgasm, a woman must sink her awareness into the clitoris, and release her preoccupation with her thoughts. But of course many are not even aware that they are stuck in their heads, nor do they know how to disconnect with their mind or some fear dropping their awareness into their sexuality for reasons that need to be addressed for that woman to feel free, alive and sensually creative.
As we soften our armor, we soften what is rigid within—the protection and the disconnection, the pain and numbness felt at the clitoris—to allow ecstasy to reawaken and reconnect us.
“Ah, what sweetness there is in connection. I take such pleasure in closeness, in feeling another’s tenderness. When open, I am your centre of joy and excitement, transforming all things back into their purest nature. I leap outward in joy, exuberance, and embrace. All life is beauty to me. When open, I am your own heart’s compassion. Treat me with greatest appreciation, and I will return you to your own first innocence. With this healing process and this great gift of appreciation you have shown me, you will find in the circle of giving and receiving my own gifts back to you. Like the full rose with all of its petals opening out to the sun, with all of my cells accessible to the atmosphere, I become more sensitive to all the energies passing over me; the slightest breeze, shift in the sunlight, or fall of mist upon my petals sends ripples to my core. The more you receive it, the more you give joy back to me, and I continue to heal and clear deep within my being.”
“My petals are filled with the tears of ignorance, of being touched, sucked, licked, bitten, and rubbed raw in the for-getting without the for-giving. Manipulated and stimulated without true presence, one will not know the velvet touch of my compassion, the sweet taste that is present in love’s embrace. I am the rose, honoring the doorway to the Holy Grail, the eternal womb. Receive my folds in love and I am the spark…”
Here lies the mutilation of clitoral cutting, and the shame of all the people involved in these ceremonies found in many religious cultures. Here is stored numbness, pain that leads to switching off in deep grief and sadness, knowing this is not the way it is supposed to be. Here is stored the clitoral shock at being touched inappropriately,incestuously or otherwise, and not knowing what to do with this feeling and its unexpressed emotions. Here lies the neglect and lack of appreciation of the clitoris.
Because our bodies intuitively know what is sacred, and what is not, we subconsciously protect ourselves from disrespectful and dishonoring stimulation and penetration. This protection can feel like heavy, thick energy sitting in our bodies, or in the space around us, manifesting as extra physical weight, as lethargy, as dullness of thought, or lack of motivation. A woman who feels physically violated may also disappear into her mind, ‘tuning out’ and going numb in an attempt to avoid being present.
She is unable to describe her behavior as she is too used to this treatment. She knows no better and has been programmed over lifetimes to think this is normal. She lives in a man’s world and is used to man’s instant gratification with no depth of emotion or meaning. She may even fool herself into thinking that she is enjoying herself, finding sensory pleasure alone. The clitoris feels this suppression at the level of the soul. Women store this in their cellular memories and energetic patterning. These emotional veils build up over time and eventually crust over, until the clitoris is desensitized and disconnected.
Physical stimulation of the clitoris for titillating pleasure, rather than for love, only adds to the abuse of a holy yoni. Any person who watches a pornographic film knows how to physically stimulate a clitoris, but to devotedly love a clitoris is another matter that requires a good heart and purity of intention, a choice to have lust merge and refine into loving devotion.
When the clitoris is clear of wounds and misuse, it gives rise to feelings of innocence and sweet freshness, borne from gratitude, appreciation, and compassion. This gate can be worked on with a partner or in a retreat setting, where it can be felt into in a safe yet powerful way. It is hard to clear this gate without knowing what you are doing, and especially without going into both the white and dark rivers. However, the mystery of love between two committed people can heal this gate if both partners are truly open and aware.
In the Hebrew tradition, the third gate represents the mind and intellectual understanding that limits us because of the nature of lust and desire that can control us. Meditating here leads to your own personal will dissolving, and a new form of intuition forms as one surrenders to the purity of the clitoris.
When the first three gates are connected and healed both personally and collectively,
the yoni becomes a portal to the Divine.
“Being touched with praise, my lips quiver in rhythmic, pulsing breath. Gentle re-membering, feeling the honouring, the gratitude within the looping love flowing between us as my Second Gate is touched, receiving and giving in the pulsing breath of acknowledgment. As the blooming rose of my Third Gate is touched by compassion, the breath of my being is felt in a soft presence on the surface. The river of fury, unleashed for moments earlier, is felt below the surface, molten lava that will not be controlled in its collapsing of the surface illusion of peace and harmony. To create anew, the old must be destroyed. True peace and harmony will arise within the balancing, the reharmonizing of our instruments.”
You have to feel your own healing, and take on the collective healing, in order for the yoni channel to become a gateway into the infinite womb. This is the way it has always been done, and always will be done. What affects one woman affects all women in the web of life and interconnection that we all live in.
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
The fourth gate is associated with the element of air and opens with the embracing of all duality. All pairs of opposites get played out from within the closed fourth gate, as a heightened sense of polarity originates from here.
‘I dance as if I have diamonds at the meeting of my thighs.’ Maya Angelou
The fourth gate is the cervix, entrance to the holy of holies – the cosmic womb or Grail. Magdalene is known as the Grail for carrying the bloodline of Christ, yet she herself knew that the opening to the Grail lies through the fourth gate in each and every woman.
The fourth gate is a diamond doorway, a star gate; the opening into your womb is an opening into infinite space. This diamond shape is similar to the outer layer of the sacred geometrical figure known as the Sri Yantra. The Sri Yantra is a pattern of the Goddess of all Creation, the creation that is held within the yoni and womb of all women.
1. Visualize the diamond shape that is the opening in your cervix. Through this neck of your womb – the thick band of muscles that paves the way for new life to come into the world – you can also travel toward the womb, to the Grail within.
2. Bring your attention to your cervix, and try to isolate it, just focusing on that one area. Breathe here and ask yourself lovingly, ‘Can I feel this entry gate?’
3. If not, you may want to physically feel your cervix and allow your finger to just rest there. Bring breath and presence into it. Now that you can feel it…
4. What do you feel here?
5. Do you see any colors, feel any sensations, emotions, do any memories arise?
6. What does she want to say to you?
7. What specifically does she want from you to open, and how can you best connect to her, and to your womb?
8. How does she want you to recognize and honor her?
The Yoni becomes a portal to the divine when the first three gates are connected and healed personally, and collectively. One has to feel your own healing, and take on the collective healing in order for the yoni channel to become a gateway into the infinite womb. This is the way it has always been done, and always will be done. What affects one woman affects all women in the web of life and interconnection that we all live in.
Most neo-tantric sexual healing focuses on the personal healing only, neglecting the deeper, and larger picture of the collective feminine consciousness that must be experienced in order to turn the divine vessel of the yoni into the holy of holies: the Grail Womb.
This means you travel through these arenas and cultivate a deeper empathy, a deeper compassion, a deeper opening within you that blesses and sanctifies your yoni for sacred union, and for the alchemy of co-creation that happens through the open yoni and womb. To have this open yoni, to enter the Grail Womb, means we travel into the darkest depths and the highest heights, with commitment, sincerity, and dedication to transmute what is held there.
The fourth gate is known in alchemical terms as the Dweller on the Threshold. This is a vital place for all women to enter, and is the greatest barrier, and guardian, to the womb’s mysteries. It is here that the reversal of roles happens; where the soul becomes master of the ego, instead of the ego being master of the soul. As the soul is made of love and giving, this is what you have to be living in order to enter union, in order to enter the womb. One has to be in a place of no need, and of giving, in order to open this gate; you have to be integrated and whole within yourself. It is here that all false wisdom and teachings, all the falsities that you have believed in and followed, reveal if you truly penetrate this veil.
As the fourth gate opens, these voices of fear and resistance arise. Here is where many of your deepest healings lie. It takes true courage, and deep vulnerability, to enter this gateway.
You have to be prepared to let go of everything you do know, and have learnt, to enter this space. To be able to heal this with your partner takes true commitment, for it is the gateway to your deepest sadness, your deepest love, your most profound separation, and your most profound union between your inner male and female.
The fourth gate is where the light and dark rivers of polarity and duality flow. That is the nature of the dweller in itself. This guardian seated at the fourth gate is the age-old inner power struggle between The Good Girl v The Bad Girl, personified at the beginning of human history by the feminine archetypes of Lilith (dark river) and Eve (light river). Only when the Light and Dark rivers meet and easily flow into one another, only then does the fourth gate open.
The dark river is a source of power, freedom, sexuality and seduction in its wild, untamable and raw feminine expression. The light river is one of sacredness, purity, love, innocence, and almost virginal, in its soft, kind and gentle vision of feminine beauty.
The fourth gate is a portal to many dimensions of experience – when you enter it, your life will change. For a man to enter this gate, a woman must trust him completely, surrender completely, and be totally vulnerable on a preverbal, primal level beyond words and thoughts. As he is allowed into the womb through the portals of appreciation, love, and trust, a man’s consciousness enters pure space, and he feels the immense power of creation, as well as the power to create, accompanied by enormous loving bliss and the sheer beauty of love that is painful in its intensity. This has to be experienced to be believed; it is how sacred sexual union occurs between souls, not just between bodies and minds.
One can have glimpses of this opening into the fourth gate, but to integrate it is another matter. To integrate it means journeying to the fifth gate; unifying your inner male and female. This is a journey both within you and outside of you (in your outer relationships) and it requires all of you to participate; your sexual energy, your emotions, your body, your mind, and your soul all have to come together and express themselves in order to unify.
To be strong in sovereign Self-love is a key to entering the fifth gate. As a woman opens up even further from a place of strength, self-empowerment, autonomy, and independence, she can become more vulnerable, as now she understands this not as weakness but as strength. It is a feminine strength to be receptive and whole, and to allow your chosen man deep within you. This may take some time, as after the initial opening of the fourth gate, many healing issues arise in order to be integrated into self-empowerment.
For the fourth gate to open, you have to leave your comfort zones. The arts of Tantra and sacred relationship take on whole new dimensions, and become deeper and richer on many more levels of awareness. Indeed, the whole union of man and woman becomes possible through the opening of the seven gates, as the woman becomes open to the cosmic womb, drawing the man within this womb, which in turn dissolves them both.
The womb is the source of our greatest healing. Once we return to it, having healed all that happened on our journey away from it, we become whole.
Men are the wounded warriors who yearn to return to the womb for healing. They seek to reconnect to the source of all life by being emotionally present in their hearts. A woman’s open womb energy can help a man to grow very quickly. The womb pulls out certain energies from him that can rarely be accessed in other circumstances; this pulling out draws him further into the womb space, where his deepest wounds can be seen and healed.
This healing can be a dramatic and deep process for men, as it involves primal, preverbal energies that connect soul to soul, and that the personality cannot really understand. It dredges up the unresolved subconscious urges within him, bringing to the surface all that has been left unexpressed. All these untended needs, wants, and longings arise, and are resolved, which results in the birthing of a new man, complete in his essential polarities.
This process can be a struggle, as a man may not understand what is happening to him. Even if he does understand it, he may not know how to deal with it, so deep are the subconscious holes and healing. He is likely to experience strong emotions, and will have the work of understanding why they arise and how to work through them. In this way he may discover the powerful combination within himself of consciousness and sexual energy; these will lead him to remember the energy of creation itself—where he comes from, and the place to which he will return.
These five primary emotions are formed from the creation point of the womb. Also found here is the energy of male–female union, which operates even when you are not physically making love. In Tibet and in Egypt, the purification and activation of the womb was a precursor to engaging in holy union. This union has been described in many cultures throughout time and is known by many names, including sacred marriage, yab-yum, and the hieros gamos.
In many ancient teachings there are five primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, love, and joy. Each person will identify most strongly with one of these emotions, and also with one of the negative emotions: resentment, helplessness, abandonment, loneliness, and grief.
In this union, the physical act of intercourse simultaneously creates a spiritual union. The masculine penetrates the goddess with his love—his vital, sexual energy, his soul, his power, and his ability to activate the birthing and creative aspects of the womb—to bring into being limitless creative potential; to manifest the unmanifest seeds held within his partner’s womb. The feminine comes fully into her power by embracing and encircling the man with her heart, and fully opening her yoni and womb to him.
One cannot fully experience sustained union without the womb being open; you can receive glimpses of it, but not sustain it, as an unhealed womb will simply close down if there are still wounds there. In order to be fully empowered, the masculine must feel as though he is being embraced and surrounded by the loving feminine field. A man stands in the center of his strength by using his lingam, heart, and crown as a conduit for light, love, and power, while receiving this gift of being embraced in the heart.
Magnetically alluring, the feminine is able to hold all the power and light that the man has to offer, receiving it completely into her open, healed womb in order to transmute, heal, and—together with her beloved—enter its depths.
Men are deeply affected by women’s separation from their essence.
If humanity was in accord with nature through the feminine, there would be no ecological crisis, no greenhouse disaster, no raping of the Earth’s resources for a quick financial fix, and no wars. If women refused to be with the men who propagated such horrors, they would not occur. Women have a power they are not using, and are not even aware of not using. If a woman stopped her husband from going to war, refusing to make love with him if he violated this law of love, do you think he would? Whose authority would he bow to; his wife’s, the mother of his children, his partner and co-creator in life, or a politician sitting in the White House?
It is Women’s Time to Show Up
You have the power to change this world, so much power, joy, and love to share. And the ironic thing is that the men are actually waiting for this power, womb power, to be shown to them, for it is a deep part of them also, a part they have forgotten. When they feel it, they too will change. It is because they are not feeling the womb power from the women around them that they feel they can run amok and create a lopsided world built on short-term advantage and selfish gain.
Only womb power can stop this, for only this depth, this feeling, can bring a man into true resonance with the feminine within him, reminding him of his essential nature, the nature of the soul.
Lisa Sarasohn describes the cycle of men’s wounding and healing as follows: “In order to approximate a sense of wholeness, a man projects his own rejected ‘womanly’ ways of being onto the screen of a female that he can (or thinks he can) control. As a result, he no longer perceives that woman to be a self-determining, self-validating person. In his world, the female human being must be… assigned to model his fantasy of what a woman should be. Accordingly, the man’s interactions with the woman become a power struggle, a skirmish between ‘me’ and ‘the parts of me I disown and still yearn to integrate’. Isolated in such narcissism, he’s unable to recognize the other’s autonomy, and is unable to enter into authentic, intimate relationship.
The Asian healing arts refer to a man’s hara as his ‘palace of essence’. As a man develops his hara- power, he reaffirms and repossesses the ‘womanly’ qualities he had previously disowned. He begins to perceive a woman as a person, informed by her own purpose. His need to control her diminishes. He becomes more capable of entering into a relationship of mutual respect. As men increasingly live and breathe from center, they prepare themselves to enter into the egalitarian relationships many women desire, and deserve. Truly loving relationships can develop as the partners each live from their inner source of being and support each other in returning to their core wisdom, again and again.”
The flow of Shakti creates a sense of innocence for both men and women. A man living in his flow of Shakti constantly discovers what it really means to be a man. And a woman who lives in the flow also discovers anew, in every moment and interaction, what it means to be a woman. Shakti is continuously discovered and released in every moment, unconstricted by the past or the future, or by beliefs about what you think is, was, or could be. This is Original Innocence.
For most individuals the whole idea of being a man or being a woman is so fixed that there is no sense of innocence, or of exploration. The most effective way to sustain innocence is in a relationship, where there are apparently two ‘I’s’ operating. Surrendering your ‘I’ in relating entails a letting go; your sexual energy becomes free of attachment, compulsion, push and pull, instead being moved by holy desire for healing, giving, and loving union. This loving union is best expressed in man and woman when they are whole, and not needing anything from the other. When there is no need, giving and receiving become simultaneous, and the circuit fulfills itself.
A man who has opened himself to feminine energies loves Shakti passionately. To such a man, each partner is the representation of Shakti, and he chooses to serve her, to give and receive simultaneously. His lingam becomes a tool to receive the exquisite vibrations of loving tenderness that he gives to Shakti.
He has no ideas about what Shakti is; he just allows it to do as it pleases through him. His mind is situated unwaveringly on her flow, and her flow to him is music that sways in rhythm and tempo. He invites into his life the flow of more Shakti in whomever he meets by seeing the other’s music, and adjusting to Shakti’s tempo.
A man who knows Shakti worships her by calling her names out to others. He recognizes the beauty of Shakti in her many forms, serving each in whatever way he can, at any moment.
He is an empty vessel for Shakti to flow through, listening closely to her voice, obeying her wishes, and following her flow. He lives in the paradox, but not in the mystery, for to him all is revealed. He can move gracefully between his masculine and feminine aspects in the underlying current of giving. He feels emotion deeply, yet is not sucked into it. He shares openly in relationship, expressing vulnerability from a space of tenderness and strength, knowing that his openness can only give rise to more love in the world.
A man who is in the flow of Shakti is not afraid to use the sword of dissolution, and is not afraid to use the flower of tenderness as, and when, each is required.
He can let go and is committed rather than attached to whatever he does, and to whatever relationship he engages in. He serves the will of Shakti, which is to move through the dark and the light with no preference for either, but using each one to liberate us from the ideas and judgments, comparisons and contrasts, we make about reality.
A man who allows himself to resonate with Shakti lives by her rhythm. In his receptivity he finds her voice, and becomes more of a man. In her flow, he wears and sheds different forms—skins to serve the one flowing, the one song. He becomes her servant and lover, and she becomes his mother, sister, and lover. He surrenders to her, and becomes the wielder of Shakti. Together they generate and reveal all of creation.
I Vow to Defend from the thoughts of lower self, in both you and me
I Vow to Uphold the feminine values and being
I Vow to Honor, listening to you, and surrendering to your wisdom through my actions
I Vow to Protect family, home, and the sanctity of the womb we live in
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
“Through the mandala of inner sacred union, the Sacred Marriage of the inner male and female aspects of oneself, lies the rite of passage to enter Me.”
Divine Woman, preparing for the final initiation, which is to become the Divine Woman through sacred union with the Divine Man. If you are not currently in a relationship, rest assured, the right man will come as he will be attracted inexorably by the pull of Shakti and the open womb.
The union of man and woman, both inner and outer, is what the fifth gate holds. The combining of any two polarities allows the two to work as one, in this case, rapidly accelerating the fire of consciousness. Sexual union, practiced as a rite and an art, is a bridge to the Divine and to other dimensions.
In this union, intercourse becomes a sacrament, a living ceremony of bliss, love, and power. In this union, if there is true harmony and compatibility between you, then your evolution will accelerate exponentially, each of you receiving the deepest lesson/energy you need from the other to complete the wholeness of yourself.
The Sacred Marriage practices taught in Egypt and in Tibet were known as yab-yum. The yab-yum is the highest of all sacred sexual practices—a set of movements, breaths, and infinity loops that merge sex and soul together. In yab-yum, the two lovers generate an energetic vesica piscis. The female learns to receive and integrate the male, while the male experiences and lets go into the womb of the female. In this exchange, the woman becomes the embodiment of the feminine creative powers. Her womb becomes the physical embodiment of the Grail, with the intent consciously set toward the nurturance of love. The man becomes pure consciousness, receiving love.
Yab-Yum circulates sexual energy and light throughout all chakras, subtle bodies, and the subtle energy pathways called nadis. This circulation means that all polarities and dualities meet and recognize each other, in order that they may dissolve and flow into loving emptiness. Yab-Yum can be done with a partner, or as part of inner Tantra for the solo practitioner.
It is through Yab-Yum with an open and inviting womb that both man and woman can fully heal and transmute many of their deepest blocks. In this deepest of all connections possible between a man and woman, all arises to be seen and potentially transformed—if both partners are able to be emotionally responsible and giving. This is often not the case! However, if both partners have reached a degree of self-responsibility and love within themselves,transmutation can occur through giving.
When you are whole within yourself you no longer need anything to fill you up, to make you whole; you do not need anything from the other. This is the sign the womb is waiting for to fully open the fourth and fifth gates. When a womb feels true unconditional love and solid presence from a man, and these remain steady for a period of time, the womb will open.
When a woman’s gates are open from yoni to womb, she takes the man inside to her cosmic womb, where infinite bliss and power lie. Here many temptations can arise, yet only a womb that totally trusts a loving, clear, conscious man will allow him into this space.
Yab-Yum done with intimacy and love in this way collects and coagulates the disparate fragments of the shadow. What this means is that unresolved aspects of abuse, trauma, and deep sufferings on a transpersonal level can get condensed into archetypal thought-forms (such as animals, demons, or mythical creatures that lie deep within the collective mindset of humanity), which can then be transmuted. This condensation vastly accelerates the healing process—what needed therapy for one year can be done in one hour, and what defies rational or even transpersonal explanations and processes can be dissolved rapidly.
Yab-Yum in its full form unites sexual energy with the love and the lightbody, until there is no separation between the two. In this deepest of Tantras, breath and movement cease, and all that is left is spaciousness and loving bliss. This is a process of soul merging, a deep sharing of soul blueprints and information between you and your partner that leads to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy. Flesh merges with flesh, and spirit with spirit. All boundaries dissolve.
Intimacy allows us to be so in tune with a partner that we may feel his or her pleasures, sadness, thoughts, and intentions even if we are many thousands of miles away. It is in the lightbody—when it merges with your physical body and sexual energy as one flow—that you can completely give yourself to your partner, or to Spirit. When two lightbodies connect, we merge with the other into pure space. This bonding at all levels transcends physical, sexual, and spiritual ideas and programming about what relationships are, or should be.
In this process of connecting on the most profound levels, old wounds, abuses, mistrusts, and barriers to such complete relationship may arise. You may feel that you are losing yourself in your partner or forming a deep aversion or attachment. You may feel like running away; you may feel mother or father issues arising strongly or old wounds resurfacing to be looked at again.
It is at this point that a true relationship or sacred marriage can occur. What is required is for these wounds to be met with embrace and honesty, communication, and appreciation. You must feel that you are being fully received, by yourself and by your partner. In true intimacy there are no more barriers, no more shields—you are both totally naked and exposed in all ways.
As the 7 Gates clear and open, physical changes occur in tandem with the emotional and soulful change and healing. Discharges and fluids from deep within the yoni and womb that were created by emotional and mental toxins release. This is a necessary and validating part to your womb and yoni healing, and the restoration and resurrection of this ‘ Royal Road’ physically, emotionally and soulfully.
As this healing completes, a Pulse spontaneously and automatically becomes generated each time you make love. Whilst this can be glimpsed occasionally through deep, heartfelt and ecstatic lovemaking between man and woman without the gates being opened, for it to happen automatically and without volition each and every time you make love shows that the Gates are well and truly open.
This Pulse is living intelligence, and the connection into the Web of Life, which throbs with this pulse-beat, as does our heart. The Pulse is generated and happens through the most potent force in the universe: Love and authentic Union in lovemaking. The Mayans say that true orgasms move the Galactic Centre, and we can definitely attest to that, as we have traveled into the Galactic Centre through Union.
The Pulse is the sign of the activation of the authentic and healed yoni and womb once the Gates are clear. It begins in the yoni and then spreads throughout the 4 gates, and then moves up into the womb. It is literally like a heart beat. It is similar to the motion generated when you suck on a thumb for comfort. At different times during authentic lovemaking, this pulse will focus on different gates, literally drawing in the man’s lingam deeper. It brings deep awareness of the womb, focusing your energy here, and it is blissful for both woman and man.
Some Tantric traditions advocate the use of yoni eggs, which are inserted into the yoni to strengthen the yoni walls, and to generate more pleasure for a man. This is an artificial substitute for the real deal. The Pulse goes way beyond artificial practices that were created in order to try and stimulate this most natural aspect of a woman’s sexuality and love, with this practice being created because women had forgotten this part of themselves, and had resorted to sex rather than lovemaking.
The Pulse continues after orgasm, so it has nothing to do with orgasm or technique. The yoni literally sucks on the lingam, as it wants it deeper, and feels to hold it deeper within itself, drawing it into the sanctum of the womb. It is like the key, the lingam fits into the lock of the yoni, and the Pulse begins; the Pulse that is behind all life, and connects to all life. It is like the yoni is being truly filled by the man who is being allowed into the deepest of places, and the woman is completely relaxed, knowing this is not just a physical thing, but a soulful and authentic meeting of spirit at the deepest levels.
With this comes an overwhelming love, a penetrating love that interweaves and connects you both. The woman feels like she is allowing the man in, and the man feels embraced and pulled into the woman in the most tender and softest of ways. It is beyond words, but it is where lovemaking takes on its true meaning in the experience of it. This is because you are actually making, creating love between you, generating it together.
The Pulse is the validation of the Love and Opening of the Gates, and the connection to the Web of Life and the Womb. The more you allow a man in to touch the deepest places in lovemaking, the more you have to take responsibility to bring that into the other areas of your relating outside the bedroom, in true intimacy, authenticity, open vulnerability, and surrender. The simple fact is that these two areas interconnect, and the Pulse happens when both soul and sex meet, in bedroom and outside. And this requires that the shadow is fully explored.
The Polyp – A physical manifestation of the Seven Gates Healing
“The first time I embarked into a conscious relationship, all that I have ever known and all that I had ever learnt, had to go. Nothing could ever be referred to, contrasted against, and for sure, never compared with. Sacred Union is only ever once in a lifetime. It is impossible to enter when you are carrying your past, and an idea of who you think you are. The two people have to enter in their entirety, in a sweet innocence, yet a fiery passion that will consume them both, as they merge and create the alchemy of Divine Marriage.
When my Beloved entered me for the first time, my entire being had to pay immediate attention. My Yoni, Womb, Heart, and brain knew in their fullness that light merged with love had entered my system. A new pathway was being carved out, pushing aside the old, tried and tested ways of making love, or as I discovered that how I was previously having sex was dressed up as making love.
I remember the deep pain being felt, physical, emotional, and soulful. Something was being ‘touched’ that had never known another or been touched before. This touch created life and vitality in a once dormant cave. I had never truly felt before in my yoni and womb until this moment.
My uterus ached, and lovemaking was uncomfortable. I breathed deeply to allow my internal structure to open and trust this new love in my partner and in myself to be freed. After making love, there was a loss of blood from inside my cervix. This wasn’t because we were being boisterous or physically passionate. It was because as I was trusting and breathing, I was opening and allowing him into an access usually denied. For 2 months I would bleed after love making, and my moon cycles had completely fallen out of rhythm. I was having cycles every 2 weeks.
It was during this time that I began my shadow work, as I ventured through the seven gates. Mysterious and dark memories were arising as I descended into my shadowy inner world. Hellish places and macabre beings were waiting for my acknowledgement. Twisted and tormented aspects of myself were recapitulated and taken home, back to my Soul.
The personal shadow broke down and into the collective shadow. All these aspects, all these battlefields were of course my deeper psyche. So much healing was taking place as lifetimes of hell and darkness were being welcomed home, into the heart of forgiveness and embrace.
In the outer world, I felt that no one could know what I was experiencing. As I closed my eyes, the shadow appeared. With guidance I learnt to approach my shadow, and pick her off the floor from a dark, cold, and damp cave. She was totally grey, like a cold hard statue. Her eyes would glare into mine with a lifeless stare. She had no emotion or warmth what so ever. There was no soul here, just the accumulation of hatred, hurt, and my own betrayal of myself, my soul, and the sanctity of my womb and sexuality.
Eventually, as we communicated with one another, she agreed to lie in my arms, as I gave her the chance to feel the warmth of my love. I held her as I looked down into her face; her eyes were closed as I watched my teardrops drop onto her cheeks. I could feel ‘me’ inside her; I began to feel our connection. The agony of seeing myself in this form was tearing me apart.
These were the moments when my polyp was being transformed on the inside. I could feel my cellular system amp up a level, the fibre of my being was absorbing so much light, as my love began to penetrate and weave its way into the darkest, most lost fragments of my tossed aside self.
Every time me and my Beloved penetrated a deeper physical wall within my yoni, an adjustment would be made, an emotional and spiritual barrier broken, and the bleeding would begin again. Each time one of my seven gates opened, more blood appeared. Each time a new level of love and intimacy arose from within me, more blood appeared, as if washing away the years of self abuse and animal sexuality that I had engaged in, wishing it was love but not knowing any better.
My health and vitality were normal, and I was not worried about all these physical symptoms, but I was getting concerned that I had started my menopause early. So I went to the doctors to have some health checks. My blood was good, no STDs, hormones perfect, and no early menopause. However, when I had an internal examination something was seen: a polyp – the size of a pea on the end of my cervix. This was the reason for all the bleeding after making love. I was told it had to be removed by a laser!
A polyp is an unexplained surge of creation, where an internal organ decides to begin growth again, and create an extra bit on the side. They are harmless, but they have their own blood supply, nerve endings and tissues. They are just ‘extra’ pieces. So I tuned into this ‘extra’ piece and meditated on its deeper meaning. I knew instantly that our conscious love making was giving me the opportunity to get rid of all the times I had had sex, gave myself when I didn’t want to, took part in sexual acts that I didn’t feel comfortable with, and generally gave myself away to those I did not really love, or was loved by.
My yoni and womb knew this in their innate intelligence, and many layers of this de-sensitization I had allowed to occur, all these cellular memories, were accumulated together – and in the body’s immaculate intelligence a polyp was formed, to contain all this debris from my past. All those times when I felt lonely, isolated and not known or met in sex. Those cold and harsh places, where sex becomes animalistic, where sex was the only means of communication and a thread bare intimacy. Where I had disrespected and abused myself, and allowed others to do so with my ignorance.
For weeks I mediated and gazed into my cervix. I checked in daily and sent waves of forgiveness and presence to my reproductive system. My beloved would bathe me in his love, light, and clarity as we made love, opening the walls and the seven gates with loving power and tender presence. Each time a gate opened we would both feel it as a new level of love arose.
One day I just knew the polyp was gone! My moon cycles had returned to their natural rhythm, all the bleeding had stopped. As only a woman can tell you, I just knew that all was as it should be. When I was examined 6 weeks later, the doctor, to her amazement, announced the polyp was gone. No need for the laser! I smiled to myself, I just knew it!
The polyp was storage for the debris of my sexual past, as well as my shadow. As I removed all remnants of my old ways of relating, as I became clear, the polyp dissolved and transformed. I believe the polyp had created its own eco-system. Without relying on the cervix in any way, the polyp worked to recycle and transform the polluted cells, the layers of protection and desensitization that my womb and yoni had created to protect itself from the lack of love and harshness of the men who had been inside me, as well as my own sexual misdemeanors.
When the work was done, the cells returned back to my reproductive system and the polyp dissolved, leaving not a trace of its existence anywhere. The past was gone, and my womb was clear enough for the next stage…”
The Pulse can be moved up into the heart by aligning and entraining both pulse beats whilst making love. This requires simple focus, breath, and attention to entrain and resonate both together, so they become one. This Pulse can then be brought into the brain, specifically the amygdala, through the Womb Circuit of the 7 Gates and the heart. To bring the Pulse into this whole circuit is to wake up the whole system.
One of the most important events of your lifetime is to remember what you came here to do, and why you decided to incarnate into your present body, environment, parents, and country. With this knowledge you can guide your life in the direction you long for, fulfill the deepest desires of your heart and soul, and achieve the highest potential you have as a human being.
The majority of humanity is not fulfilling its karmic contracts—not doing the tasks they wanted to do before incarnation, and that they agreed to do to help the world. This widespread failure to keep karmic commitments is the cause of much confusion and frustration that can be felt almost everywhere in the world today. Spiritual seeking without knowledge of your soul’s purpose is ungrounded; such work can lead you in circles, like a hamster running a constant loop in a small cage. Here, the hamster is your soul trying to remember who it is, while it is trapped in the cage of the ego, running around on the wheel of reincarnation.
Until you remember and put into action your soul’s purpose, you will be the hamster forever running around in a self-enclosed circle, seeking and never finding. Finding your soul’s purpose is perhaps one of the most important tasks facing you today. Once you find it and consciously activate it with loving willpower and wisdom, the whole world will conspire to help you to achieve it, to lead you into the greatest love you can know.
Your first forgetting of your soul’s purpose occurred upon birth, where you developed divine amnesia that caused you to lose memory of who you are, and what you came here to do. Some memory was likely revealed to you when you were a child, but your developing ego quickly dismissed these remembrances, due to parental and peer group pressures which labeled your innocent remembering as fantastical, impractical, or improbable.
The first steps to remembering can include practices to become self-aware; meditation, breath work, witnessing thoughts and emotions, and so forth. The quieter the mind becomes, the more we are able to listen to the still, small voice of the heart and soul that always knows why we are here, and what we are here to do.
The next steps can include remembering how you came into the world before birth, your experiences in the womb, and then of being physically borne into this world. As this healing and wisdom arise to be integrated, you can engender your own rebirthing via the journey into the seven gates, and the connection to the Galactic Center found within us.
The seed jewels of your soul’s purpose lie in a field of living light that exists in the womb between the fifth and sixth gates. Each woman holds her own unique soul jewels here—her soul’s mission, and the means to achieve it on Earth. These soul-purpose jewels are usually several in number and can take many forms; they may look like jewels, keys, orbs of light, scrolls of wisdom, songs, career of service.
And each manifestation is perfect for each person.
The jewels lie within; count them as you see them. Travel into them, see what they are, ask them what they are and how they can be made manifest. Each jewel is a seed potential, a part of your soul desiring to bloom, activate, and rise into manifestation.
Every human holds these jewels inside. They are often well guarded by trauma or deep blocks for which there seem to be no explanation or healing available. Yet there is an innate knowing, deep within you, that there is something else here… something you cannot quite put your finger on, but something you have been waiting for.
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
“In the space between the fifth and sixth gates, a woman, like the Dakinis and priestesses of ancient tradition, can open herself in service to any man and bring a great healing and transformation for him. This means surrendering yourself completely to a physical man—allowing him to penetrate your very soul on all levels.
By holding the intent within yourself to give freely, allowing through your love and surrender to transform and transmute his pain, his suffering, his ancient wounds—you both receive. He will receive the powerful gift of transmutation from the Divine Mother through you as a vessel, and this in turn can enable you to pass beyond the sixth gate. To pass beyond the gate together, he, too, must be in the same surrendered, giving space of service, and capable of reaching sacred union within himself.”
To activate and manifest the sixth gate fully requires surrender. Surrendering is a process, a continual experiencing happening every day. It is never done or completed. It never stops, it is never a statement. One is always surrendering, continually giving over the mind to what lies here and now, in each thought, each choice. Surrender softens what is rigid within. This awakening guides us back from that which is resisting love, by embracing and forgiving any and all thoughts and feelings that arise that are not love. Having the ongoing felt awareness of what is resistant to love moves awareness to love, so more love can flow.
Surrender leads to true vulnerability, vulnerability that is cleansing the heart and releasing fear and willfulness. There is no surrender to something; it is surrendering unto Being within itself. In this trust, nothing matters if everything changes completely every moment. All your sense of reason, thoughts, plans, everything that is needed right now might be completely different from that which was needed in the previous moment, and in the next moment. Love responds in the now, and there is no teaching, law or rules for this. Love is the whole of the law.
Only when there is nothing else that you want from the dream of the world will you be free; and this is surrender. You have to release the little self and the dream of getting in order to be open, and in this giving one becomes all-attractive, a magnet that draws to you ten times what you have given. In surrender all things are given through you.
This involves deep trust, trust in that whatever is needed will come, that the unfolding is a continual process that comes from within and takes you wherever you need to go. And this is the mystery, the mystery that dissolves the ‘I’. Any thoughts of ‘I’, me, mine, I deserve this, I need that from you, from her, from him, any validation of there being a separate self that needs any justification, gets continually surrendered.
In this the mind plays its role as the servant of the soul, allowing the observation of any and all ideas of ‘I’. In this seeing, there is a letting go. Letting go is one of the hardest things to do, be it letting go of the search for God, letting go of habits, or letting go of ideas, people, and beliefs that have served you until this point, but can no longer take you where you need to go in order to evolve. In letting go, there is no need or movement outside, just resting, and from resting peace as the gateway to the golden silence within your heart’s core.
This letting go is a literal emptying of the self, an active, subtle, willing and letting go of the ‘I’ in order to give your Self space to Be. Constantly repeating this, letting go again, and again, of the voice of the ‘I’ in the midst of your thoughts, your deeds, your interactions and conversations with others, is when you know exactly how you are still holding on. This letting go is an inner action, a movement of consciousness on your part that recognizes the needs of a personal self, and lets go of it in the same moment. To die to this self means to die to all self-talk, self-importance, self-validation, and the projection of yourself out into the world.
Surrender is the last quality to master you, before one lives the surrendered life. When you live a surrendered life there is little, if no thought, arising within you. You may not know the words that come out of your mouth in any moment, and have no need to remember what they are, or what the actions are that flow through your body-mind and speech. You learn by what comes through you. There is great delight and joy in this, for in this allowing of ourselves to be nobody, we become able to relate with anybody, in any moment.
This fluidity dissolves all rules, allowing one to express and embody the highest potential in any moment. This is resting in the heart of harmony, and listening to it. This resting, this abiding, is natural and graceful, and cannot be forced as it arises the more we tune into the harmony of our heart voice over time, and follow it in action. The simplicity of this being arises from not listening to any other voices, and following this One at all times.
You die a little every day living this; the ‘I’ disappears.
Through your surrender to being here, to including and embracing all aspects of life, you unify and bring to awareness all the fragmented aspects of your Self. Everything is included in surrender, and nothing is left out. All that you have believed, thought, felt and experienced is offered, and given away. Everything has to go, and you leave no back door, no escape route, no way for the small self to come back.
Trust life and surrender. Allow the intent of life to flow through you, desiring and doing what it wills. And all that it wills is our bliss, happiness, and true contentment. Connecting with your bliss, your joy, is surrender living through you. Feeling this presence and pulse in your body is when you align with the natural synchronicity and spontaneity of life’s processes. For this reason, Creation manifests in a flash, in a pulse of pure joy, spontaneous and free of any distinct purpose, ‘like a thief in the night.’
To access this is a major turning point, for it is only here that true Life begins. For the first time, you are ready to fully ‘land on the planet’ to Be Here Now. Life is guided by synchronicity, intuition, and Grace. Sudden bursts of joy for no reason overcome you. Joy opens the door, and welcomes all of Life Now.
In surrender you want nothing for yourself. This is the living experience that there is no one here living a life; it is Life Living through your body-mind. This establishes a relationship to life that then lies within all other relationships that you engage in. As you engage with others you stay whole within your own connection to the life flow, and engage from this space.
In this, one comes to see that no relationship can cause you to be unloving, harsh or judgmental, for you are alone, all one, in your journey. This aloneness creates spaciousness, depth and genuineness, where you are no longer run by needing to look, act or behave in any way shaped or desired by the world. Genuineness allows you to totally honor Self and act from this space, rather than having to act in any way that seeks approval from outside yourself. You no longer value what the world thinks, and create your own value.
Paradoxically, this aloneness allows you to become closer to every person, and for them to feel closer to you, as there is no longer any need to get anything from that person. And people can feel that, as it speaks to their hearts, and attracts them.
Surrender is what woman excels at. For a woman to surrender to a man is to complete herself. But she has to have the complete certainty that the man is right and true, and her womb needs to know that as well. She has to be able to give all, without reservation, without holding anything back, in order to receive all.
The most effective way to test surrender is in relationship, where there are apparently two ‘I’s’ operating. Surrendering your ‘I’ in relating entails a letting go of all boundaries between you and formless awareness. Your sexual energy becomes free of attachment, compulsion, push and pull, instead being moved by holy desire for loving union, as a means of feeling and expressing love.
As Shantanand Saraswati so eloquently puts it, ‘In this surrender, if a man knows that the woman is entirely for him, body soul and mind, then he will take full responsibility and do anything and everything possible, and sacrifice all for her. The feeling of surrendering and maintaining some independence creates a mixture, an impurity, and proper surrender is not made possible, and this creates disbelief between the two. The meeting never takes place, they never get related as man and woman, and the relationship is not materialized. Surrender alone is the relation. If a woman wants to keep independence, she will get loneliness; if she surrenders, she gets it all.’
“The art of Surrender has been the longest, deepest aspect of Life and Love to let go into. The whole truth of surrender is that there is always more, so even at this stage, I am not complete, nor would I ever want to be. To become mature and responsible enough to enter the 3rd and 4th Spirals is only accessed by giving all of yourself at every single turn.
Confession of a Woman
The first 40 years of my life I side stepped giving and loving from my soul. Deep inside I felt a huge sadness for all my false relating, false feelings, and false happiness, and now it became time to roll up my sleeves and descend into the caverns of my Soul to mine for my eternal gold, that simply has to be given. This commitment within me would never have arisen without the realization of the falsehood of my life. I would often refer to this behavior as ‘skimming’, dipping down every now and again into life to take a bite here and there. Never truly landing, never ever resting. Intimacy would never arrive, trust was never encountered and the soul of the other, and myself, would never be seen. I would relate from a distance, and in truth I never really loved any one.
Now, I see the fear and hurt that it was built upon. To say that I found surrender easy is the furthest from the truth one can be. Every time I thought I had surrendered, I would see again that I hadn’t, still an area of ‘self’ was held safe and untouchable. I needed help constantly to see my blind spots, and there was plenty. When pointed out to me, these blind spots were often argued against, frustratingly unable to be seen, let alone understood, and more often than not, downright denied. It was the most challenging part of my journey.
The sense of freedom, the freedom to love my Beloved in all ways, without judgment, without condition, to love this man as if it were our last hours together, meant I was given the chance to truly cherish my life and soul. To trust all the way through deepens the flow and unfolding of life.
Surrender is the fullest feeling of freedom that I have ever experienced. It is not the word ‘WELCOME’ written across your forehead, that I once thought it was. It is not a passive life, where you have lost all our dreams and expressions in life. You do not become a slave, or a wash out.
Surrender is the best kept secret to an irreversible sense of eternal self. Once bitten forever smitten… ”
Surrender is the source of heart and harmony, and contention is the root of discord. When one is in contention, one is not in surrender.
Surrender is recognizing the difference between the presence of flow and surrender, and the absence of flow and surrender. This well-being is innocent delight, allowing the learning of new things, playing in abandon, not knowing how things are, not needing them to go a certain way. Life lives through us, Love masters us, and the adventure of Life carries us along, moment by magical moment.
Anaiya Sophia’s Site:
The seventh gate is the Grail within, where everything stops and revels in the deep silence before creation. What all men have been searching for lies here; the return to source. What all women are beginning to remember, their power and their unique feminine spiritual pathway, lies here also.
What unites man and woman is the Grail; the pathway to eternal life, the life borne from spirit, the life lived in the present, not the past; the life lived as miraculous and magical every day, as natural, and normal.
Within the seventh gate lies the power of transformation on a core level. The Grail is the Black Light, the light that washes you clean of your small self, that washes you into the eternal, that brings you the experience of the infinite from deep within your bodymind.
It is in the seventh gate that female Samadhi happens; the breath stops, the mind stops, the fear of death stops, and you are left totally present, totally natural. You become unadorned simplicity, able to sit in the moment where all creation starts, and stops. You become silent, still. It is here that you go within for your fuel, limitless silence seething with infinite possibilities.
It is here that eternity lies, from which all is birthed, from which Shakti flows—the doorway to the Great Womb of Galactic Centre, the Core of your Self. The prophecies of the Mayans are that this will align to Earth in 2012, yet this gateway lies within you right now. Not in the future, but here and now. Why wait for it when it is here now?
The silence and stillness of the seventh gate is accessed as we find light in the heart of darkness to lead us to our core. To get here, we are required to travel far from ordinary experience. Here there is nothing familiar, no matrix world, and no realm of dreams—just silence. ‘It is only through this stillpoint that women can be truly effective… and be of profound use to everyone.’ (Saraswati)
“In the eternal space of the womb, my breath was lost within the peace as we moved through the seventh gate. My body no longer needed to breathe in from outside. All was within, for I became the breath. Within this Black Light are the seeds of life, pure potentiality, awaiting my surrender to Divine Will, the re-membering of my dharma, my role to enact in this divine play. Reminded of time/space and bringing the breath into my left ovary, I returned to breathing with my body as my consciousness became the nozzle for the pump to fuel the burning fires of my ovaries from the Source, beyond the threshold of the seventh gate, the Filling Station.”
“With the increase in the flow, the gates fly open as you approach, ready to expand even further. The filling station at the seventh gate is already streaming light into your being as you pass the gates. Your continued presence with this practice will enable you to carry even greater light into the womb of the world, intensifying your capacity as a beacon. In the circular flow of giving and receiving, as you in service bring this greater light, so will more be able to be shared with you, which in turn enhances your ability to give and be in service to an even greater degree. Do you see the divine beauty of the unfolding as you connect through me? If all could accept, hear, and practice this knowledge, all would feel themselves pulled along towards God on this ever upward spinning spiral of giving and receiving. This beautiful journey is the key to your homecoming, and yet you are the one’s who chose to not only ignore it, but to forget it was ever possible.”
Once you have explored the deeper meanings of the seven gates, you can return to them any time to continue the work of opening and healing them. The following meditation practice is a good way to prepare for the deeper journey.
Preparing to Open the Gates (You may also use the Womb-Heart meditation to prepare and open.)
1. Sit quietly and bring your attention to your heart.
2. Hold the tip of the little finger of the right hand with your left thumb, index, and middle fingers. You should have two fingers over your right little fingernail.
3. Sit and breathe into your heart through pursed lips. When you feel energy coming into your heart, allow it to become more intense. Really feel the heart. It may begin to feel tingly, hot, or full; just be with it for a few breaths longer.
4. Begin now to breathe and direct the energy to go into your womb. Feel your womb being cleared, healed, and opened.
5. Now breathe all the energy up to the top of the spine, the Alta Major.
6. See a golden ball here, and feel it releasing what is no longer needed, and receiving divine energy.
7. When you have a sense of this ball being fully activated, bring it up to the pineal gland situated between the center of the eyes in the middle of the brain. Breathe the energy now to activate the brain and ‘light up’ this gland.
8. Now place one hand over the heart, and one over the womb. These are your two hearts. Feel a figure-8 of gold light connecting your two hearts. Breathe gently.
The First Gate
1. Start by focusing on the entrance to the first gate, the lips of the yoni, the lips of love. This is where you allow energies in, and where you give energies out. The yoni is the opening into the infinite. You may physically touch any of the gates as you deepen, and breathe into it.
2. Visualize a pure white conch with the Goddess arising from it.
3. What colors, sensations, feelings are here?
4. What does she want to say to you?
5. What specifically does she want from you to open and connect to the other gates?
6. How does she want you to recognize and honor her?
The Second Gate
1. Start by focusing on the second gate: the Gratitude-spot, the waters of ecstasy and freedom. Visualize a streaming blue waterfall, wild and free.
2. What is its sound? What colors, sensations, feelings are here?
3. What does she want to say to you?
4. What specifically does she want from you to open and connect to the other gates?
5. How does she want you to recognize and honor her?
The Third Gate
1. Start by focusing on the Third Gate: the clitoris, the rose of pleasure.
2. Visualize a blooming, red, ripe rose.
3. What do you feel here? What colors, sensations, feelings are here?
4. What does she want to say to you?
5. What specifically does she want from you to open and connect to the other gates?
6. How does she want you to recognize and honor her?
The Fourth Gate
1. Start by focusing on the fourth gate—the cervix, entrance to the holy of holies, the cosmic womb.
2. Visualize a diamond opening, the Stargate of your cervix. This is the opening into your womb, and an opening into infinite space.
3. What do you feel here? What colors, sensations, feelings are here?
4. What does she want to say to you?
5. What specifically does she want from you to open and connect to her, and the womb?
6. How does she want you to recognize and honor her?
The Fifth Gate
1. Enter pure vast space. Visualize the Yab-Yum or Sacred Marriage, the holy lovemaking union between the inner male and female aspects of yourself.
2. Breathe gently into this space. As you go deeper, you start to see many jewels sparkling.
3. Choose one and zoom into it. Ask it what it is. Ask how to manifest it. Each jewel is a seed potential, a seed of your soul purpose.
The Sixth and Seventh Gate
1. Visualize a cross within a vesica piscis.
2. Relax, and be silent to whatever arises within you.
“Soul Mates are souls that have been created within a soul family, so there is a family-type feeling of coming together. When you meet one another there is recognition, a familiarity that brings with it a wondrous joy and feeling of ‘belonging.’ Soul Mates are in each other’s lives to offer support, love, and richness. There is a timeless feeling when together that is often acknowledged through the words, “feels like I have known you forever.” All Soul Mate relationships are for the purpose of spiritual growth, and the deepening and expanding of all spiritual attributes. Soul Mates teach each other how to love themselves and then how to love each other, thereby creating the most ideal situation for a conscious family. Not all Soul Mate reunions are sexual; there can be a genuine experience of having a purely platonic relationship where one actually places the needs and wants of their Soul Mate before their own. They can literally serve one another for years as they learn to embody unconditional love. Soul Mates prepare us for union with our Beloved, either in this lifetime or the next.
Hallmarks of a Soul Mate
A warm and comfortable feeling when together. A slow start with less intensity and conflict. Feelings of support, friendship, family, and familiarity. A strong attraction, you may adore and love the way they look, enjoying their entire being. But you will always be two, keeping your separate identities very much intact. No desire to merge; happy and content to enjoy individuality and two-ness.
Now, Beloveds are a whole other type of relationship. First, let’s take a closer look at the word Beloved. Watch this: Be ‘love’ d. Yes, that’s right, the Beloved will do everything and anything to push and pull you around your so-called neat, safe, and organized life, until you simply become LOVE. This is no walk in the park ladies and gentleman, this is The Full Monty. Only those prepared to ‘bare all’ will come out on top! But, don’t be scared, the payoff is worth ALL of it.
Beloveds are two halves of the same soul brought together
for the purpose of making an obvious difference in the world.
For those meant to join with their Beloved, the incessant throbbing of desire and longing for the other is never far beneath the subconscious. They constantly crave a deeper, more meaningful love and will settle at nothing to find it. Beloved Love is always steadfast and enduring. They are unable to not love one another; their love is eternal and continues way beyond their human experiences. They unite when there is important spiritual work or collaboration to be done, and there is a readiness and willingness to understand the full breadth of human connection. Both will carry out a mission together for the benefit of mankind.
When Beloveds come together, similar to Soul Mates, they act as two mirrors.
But unlike Soul Mates, Beloveds reflect back each other’s “shadow self” for the ultimate goal of perfect polarity integration, or ultimate unity.
This can be a huge task for human beings, as we have learned so many ways of staying safe and protecting ourselves from being hurt. But this is the gift of the Beloved. The Beloved frees you from the controlling powers of the mind and sends you heart first into the ecstatic joys of the liberated heart, once you have faced and gone through a few select initiations (see The Gates above).
Those who live lives of emotional detachment often do so when they are unable or unwilling to face their Beloved. It can be an overwhelming, life-altering experience to come face-to-face with the other half of your soul. Many people flee in emotional terror and allow emotional baggage to destroy the process. But when they accept this beautiful opportunity, it can be the most intensely transformative and powerful experience a person can have. Whatever the case, there is no force on Earth that can keep Beloveds apart – but emotional soul injuries can injure or even delay a reunion lifetime after lifetime.
Hallmarks of a Beloved
It is usually intense, challenging, light and dark, polar opposites of each other, with near Hollywood style showdowns happening within a highly attracting energetic field that you cannot fight against or deny. Every type of duality (pairs of opposites) will be played out, until there is nothing left but love, and an incredible desire to merge and become one. The idea of being two is completely repelling. Beloveds yearn to merge into one. It is their natural state.”