Here is material to assist you in navigating the territory that you discover about yourself when engaging the practices while receiving Sacred Body Rites.
Please take your time, and read this with your open receptive body, and not with your mind.
Emotions are stored in the body as a living substance comprised of somatic memories of past experiences, or projections into future that make up a separate sense of a ‘self.’ A significant portion of this ‘separate self’ is constellated as an energetic psychological complex derived from personal past experiences, and energies the body absorbs from our western ancestral-genetic hypermasculine heritage that has been encoded by the limbic system, and is held somatically body-wide.
Most of these energies are absorbed by and stored in the genital area. The energetic complex stored here is comprised of projections from cumulative past heartbreaks, abuse, trauma, self-hatred, disappointments, or of romanticized fantasies with lovers, or projections onto future lovers. These are felt as the energies of emotions that drench our genital tissues with intensity and are encoded deep in the subconscious by the limbic system. These emotional energies are brought to consciousness somatically by the brain’s limbic system whenever anything we contact resembles the energetic tone of the event or story that we then project onto another – this can be evoked by thoughts, ideas, memory, smell, taste, touch, sight, place, situation, person, etc.
Then, when a projection is triggered somatically, the body behaves automatically exactly as though the past is now, having little to do with who is actually present. When this projected somatic experience unconsciously and automatically arises, we want to bodily repeat it if it is a pleasant event from the past, or, we avoid it by holding back if it was unpleasant.
If this complex – as the emotionally drenched ‘self’ of projection – takes over while celebrating Conscious Love, the felt sensations of the Eros Body disappear and recede into the background and are replaced by emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Meanwhile, our awareness is thrown out of the present through automatic bodily motions that ‘confess’ either grasping or rejection due to past or future, and into various forms of dissociation. No longer present in NOW, we are unable to feel the subtle erotic inner-body sensations of Conscious Love in the present – because sensing The Love is possible only in NOW – as opposed to a projected state that is drenched by emotions, feelings, thoughts that unconsciously ‘behave us.’
Due to the receptive, magnetic nature of the female flesh, women are more unconsciously bodily infected by the cultural hypermasculine disposition than the male because his flesh is more electric and radiating. Therefore, if a woman has had sex with men who ‘get’ from her in aggressive and dominating ways, her body absorbs these energies from him. A woman’s perineum, rectum, labia, clitoris, vagina, cervix, and uterus are thus loaded with emotional and physical tension, pain, and stress from old wounds of abuse, domination, and emotional ownership of her libido by her father, or a lover.
Subsequently, like an infection caught from a man, she will feel a need to temporarily release built-up tension during sex, or through masturbation via clitoral stimulation to achieve a surface orgasm that leaves her unsatisfied. The emotional correlates to this tension manifest as feelings of restlessness, inability to be with intensity, discontent, confusion, ungroundedness, rapidly changing emotions and moods, sexual hunger and predatory ‘maneater’ behavior, frigidity, control of sex, and control of her man’s libido, jealousy, or the opposite extreme: sexual numbness (absence of sensation) in the lower pelvis and vagina. Sometimes all of these can be present at the same time in different configurations. Talk about confusion!
Having sex under the influence of a hypermasculine, emotionally drenched energetic complex, a woman will, during lovemaking, unconsciously exhibit aggressive, rapid motions, often to the point of dissociation, while her predatory ‘getting from’ behavior that man infected her with swamps her capacity to sense the subtler slower, micro-sensations of Love’s sensuous inner-body flow, emanating from her precious Eros Body that are exhibited by her yoni’s subtle micro-motions in her flesh. This blurring not only adds to the energies of tension and trauma in her perineum, rectum, labia, clitoris, g-spot, vagina, cervix, and uterus that further numbs her sensations; she will also miss the micro-nuances of Love’s subtle sensuous sweetness and beauty that flows from her Eros Body that is expressed by her flesh, which her man is also deprived of.
From another perspective, since the beginning of her sexual maturity most women have entertained romantic daydreams and idealized fantasies about lovers and lovemaking to produce the excitement and tension needed to achieve clitoral orgasm, which increases the perineal, rectal, vaginal, cervical, uterine tensions. Surface depression, remorse, and disappointment arises after your man has had his ejaculation in you, or after you have had a clitoral orgasm from sex or masturbation.
While whole-body inner breathing, feelingly inhabit your inner-body space, while you maintain feeling presence to your sensations while masturbating. During heightened build-up in the intensity of your sensations, emotions, feelings, thoughts, fantasies or orgasm, practice whole-body inner breathing, and feelingly inhabit your whole inner body space. Open your heart space to receive the sensations of orgasmic intensity so they spread and fill your whole, inner body space. If you can slow down your stroking tempo, you may sense the subtle sensuous, micro-motions of your Eros Body: let those sensations guide you in your erotic bodily expressions. These more subtle sensations, arising from your inner Eros Body will lead you to an orgasm possessing a higher order of coherence that expresses throughout the whole body, and beyond.
Much of our difficulty with celebrating Conscious Love arises out of our fear of repeating past traumas, abuse, heartbreaks, disappointments, disillusionments, self-betrayals, and painful emotional experiences with lovers, or from memories of unsatisfying love-making or parental abuse. Also, if we over romanticize what Love is, and built a fantasy world of projection around it, trying with all our might to make romantic love work based on our projections onto another of who they are not! This is compounded by the degree we have been tainted and influenced by the ancient cultural hypermasculine disposition – our ancestral-genetic heritage. However, on an unconscious level we are also terrified of Eros, desire, and particularly arousal.
All these cumulative energies consolidate into a single energetic-psychic complex that forms the emotionally drenched ‘self.’ This emotional ‘me’ leaves us afraid of Eros, therefore we control her sensuous expressions in our body. All painful or pleasant experiences encoded by the brain’s limbic system are stored in the body, and most particularly land in the perineum, rectal, and genital areas. Barry Long says if the emotionally drenched self is in charge, the hypermasculine co-opts the erotic flow of our sensuous expressions, which shift a celebrating of Conscious Love into having sex solely for self-gratification through fantasy and a hyper-focus on clitoral orgasm and ejaculation. We loose the ability to celebrate Conscious Love in the present as a sensuous whole-bodily-being process.
The Power of the Bonding Instinct in Women
We may be afraid to let the power of The Love rise from the lower body through solar plexus, to heart, and let Love have her way with us without emotional control that is based on fear based on our past – these become ‘tissue excuses,’ or expressions of the ‘bonding instinct.’ Therefore, we may come up with VERY good ’felt-reasons’ (feelings) as to why we cannot let Love ‘have us,’ nor surrender to Love!
There are plenty of STRONG emotions and feelings in the genital tissues, due to history, that bring up powerful thoughts and feelings that convince us to insist that we not fully open to Love. Besides the unconscious emotionally drenched perineum/yoni/cervix, uterus/rectum mentioned above that Barry Long talks about in his “Making Love” CD (and that Sacred Consort practice is designed to release) there’s the overwhelming female bonding instinct designed for procreation that convince us that opening to Love is risky.
For a female who is able to have a baby, bonding is a genetic IMPERATIVE. It is the most powerful impediment in a woman to TOTALLY surrender to The Love inside her if she is unaware of it. The bonding instinct, designed to drive procreation, is the deepest physical instinct, arising from the genetics of every cell. Therefore it takes ferocious, heroic presence to see through this bonding impulse. Why? Because every hormone is responding to ‘the one’ male ‘out there’ who will give you the seed to create your baby. “Without projecting all my love onto ‘him,’ I cannot possibly surrender to The Love inside. What would happen if I did surrender to inner Love? Who would I be? How can I possibly stand in my sovereign dignity in this Love – AS this Love?” Fortunately, there is a portal out of this dilemma – let us take a look.
“My Body is a Sacred Vessel Suffused with Love”
If you want to explore a feminine version of Eden that lovingly erotically connects with everything bodily, then cultivate a feeling recognition of the hypermasculine complex. It also helps to cultivate a fierce commitment to building unwavering, feeling presence so you can feelingly ‘be with’ all the disembodied hypermasculine aspects of your conditioned self.
Ultimately this means we consciously indentify and unite with everything that we are.
The hypermasculine complex sits aloof in the head above the body and looks ‘down’ upon the separate, objectified body and it regards our precious body as a despised pack animal designed for our use, a mere lump that is not worthy of love, or even of existing. Then add onto that the new age neo-advaitic perspective: the body is not real! (This may be a source of modern female body image issues). In this contrived spiritualized ‘non-dual’ disposition, the witness sends its light of intelligence as an objectifying consciousness that is void of feeling, compassion, and love into the body from above yet, still maintaining its distance by not feeling the emotions that lurk ‘down there’ as the uncomfortable aspects of self. Hypermasculine consciousness fears Love, and avoids feeling her by controlling body’s sensations, and exploiting her needs, desires, longings, tenderness, sweetness, Eros, innocence, and power, and he perpetrates upon body a self-hateful disposition (see Recognition of Hypermasculine, under ‘Both Sexes’).
Body is the radiant vessel of the Divine Feminine, emanating the original Indestructible Innocence of Criatura.
Body is none other than the most refined physical expression of The Love of the Tender Mother.
However, when our consciousness is invaded by the hypermasculine consciousness, and we objectify body, and subject her to the self-hatred of the hypermasculine, then our body’s vulnerability, innocence, openness, sweetness, and emanation of Love retreats and becomes deeply buried in the unconscious. When these intensified unconscious energies accumulate, they build-up and either go underground to become an inner swamp, or eventually the energies will explode due to the pressure created by suppressing Love’s power. The intensity of pressure from self-hatred, fear, and by controlling Love has to go somewhere. This creates what Barry Long calls the ‘fiendess’ in woman, and what I call the ‘enraged killer’ in man.
Repressed Love – sensations of our Eros Body – when not allowed to flourish as authentic physical expressions, turns into mysterious illnesses of all sorts: physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual. These symptoms express emotionally as various forms of bodily self-harm, body self-image distortions, eating disorders, self-hatred, self-violent communications of the inner critic, disdain toward our ever-changing chaotic moods, inner instability, restlessness, confusion, lack of ground, irritability, inability to be with intensity, and no sense of ground or center. Behaviors and emotional outbursts, arising from hypermasculine repression and control based on past or future, are not pretty, as you well know if you have ever experienced the fiendess in a woman – or the enraged killer in man. Barry Long in his CD, ‘Making Love’ fiercely warns us that when the fiendess explosively expresses herself, rarely can a man stand up to her, and he will allow himself to be castrated to avoid her wrath. His observation is brilliant, and the same applies to a woman with respect to facing the enraged killer in man.
Further, and even more important, Long says, “Until you know the fiendess, you cannot know love.”
Therefore, the way out of this predicament is to clearly, unflinchingly see, be with, and most importantly, feel all aspects of ourselves – as they are – while at the same time to let it be, and remain feelingly, unwaveringly present to ‘the given’ in undefended open-heartedness. The hypermasculine consciousness affects us all, and its influence penetrates deep in the unconscious all the way into the making of our cells at conception!
Refrain from negatively labeling and harshly judging the hypermasculine consciousness, or criticizing your ever-changing emotions, fluctuating states, bodily and human needs, feelings, or your behavior. Recognize it, admit it, be with and feel it.
The way through this powerful portal is to feel your inner body sensations amid intensity or intimacy – be with it, and leave it as it is. To feelingly be with your sensations – as intensity or intimacy – in relaxed openheartedness restores the balance toward the positive masculine. This Sacred Masculine practice: free-flowing attention, unwavering feeling presence, amid a tender open heart inherently possesses Love for ‘what is’ with utter feeling and inner body receptivity to all that the feminine emanates. Feelingly receiving ‘what is’ about yourself is the only way I know for the hypermasculine disposition to shift, to acquiesce its control of our Eros, and to let Love be in charge. Once Eros is freed, Love takes over your body and returns it to a primordial state, expressing as an Innocent Fount of Radiant Love.
It so happens that you model the Positive Sacred Masculine by practicing free-flowing attention, feeling presence in unwavering, open hearted spaciousness that welcome all expressions of Love ‘to be.’ Cultivate receptive, openhearted, feeling presence for whatever the feminine manifests – be it an expression of the inner or outer woman: To let her be here, just as she is, invites Love to freely emanate throughout woman’s body as her precious Love – as her Radiant Glorioiusa.
This positive masculine practice gradually quiets the inner war, and the resulting inner harmony creates freed space in which the inner feminine – as Love – ventures out to play more freely. Love begins to emanate as sensuousness from inside the woman’s inner body space, which unites all spiritual, psychic, emotional, and bodily separation, which, in turn, heals the fragmented hypermasculine dissociation of consciousness, which is the origin of masculine fragmented consciousness. Once the fragmented parts of male consciousness reunites with The Love from woman, it restores a man to his rightful place as dynamic feeling presence that is holder of opposites.
Your inner Positive Sacred Masculine emanates a grounded, deeply relaxed, present, feeling awareness inside the body. He bestows relaxation, safety, love-infused feeling presence, confidence in Being, and Trust in now, and we enjoy a harmonious embodied inner feeling relationship with the inner feminine. Jung characterizes this as a birth that occurs after the death of the ‘Hero’ (hypermasculine). Then the ‘Coniunctio’ or Sacred Union between the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine gives birth to the Divine Inner Child who expresses the Original Innocence of Criatura – the body in its primordial state as Sacred Vessel as Holy Grail.
Unwavering feeling presence provides infinite space for all expressions of the feminine.
This alchemical substance transubstantiates and restores body to its natural state as Holy Grail.
Your life will never be the same after your body becomes a continuous fount of infinite Love that is in erotic feeling connection with everything. This is enfleshment from which you cannot go back to the trance of virtual hypermasculine life.
Enfleshment is an actual realized state in which your body becomes Love, and this Sacred Union will stabilize as you repeatedly bodily experience feeling loved:
When receiving intimate touch, if you feelingly let-in the rapture and the sensuous flow of Love as it emanates inside your inner body space as Eros Body and let Love have you, allow Love to penetrate you – head, heart, belly, and your flesh, amid all self-violent inner dialogue that arises… then, Love will suffuse your flesh.
This practice increases Loves’ Eros Body presence that breathes sensuousness throughout your inner body space, which so thoroughly suffuses your flesh with rapture that your body becomes devoured by Love.
Every day, whenever you can find quiet time, abide in your personal inner-body Stillness and feel the sensations in your inner body space as a tonal atmosphere. In inner Stillness, feelingly sense and be with the subtle nuances of the sensations of your Eros Body – as the sensations of Love’s Breath flowing in your inner body space. When Love’s sensuous flow – that express in you as Eros Body – is present, open to the sensations, receive them, take the sensations in, let them have you, and tend them by orienting your feeling awareness inward to anchor your embodied feeling presence with the sensations of Love.
Your disposition is receptive, openhearted, undefended, sensual, in loving regard – you utterly die into Love – you ask Love to:
“Take me as much as you give yourself to me.”
This death of control gives birth to unbroken inner feeling contact with the sensuous flow of Love.
To maintain contact with the inner sensations of Love, live your life in synchrony with the slower tempo of your inner body, and adjust your life-pace accordingly – so you can remain present, inwardly oriented, in contact with Love’s subtle inner body micro-nuances of Breath, and bodily live this Love. You have a specific portal to intimacy through the inner tone of Stillness by which you can live this Love while you are in the marketplace:
Orient inwardly, and live in a slow inner tempo in feeling contact with Loves’ sensuous inner body flow is the secret to living in Eden while fully living your life inside the hypermasculine matrix.
Another powerful practice for restoring body to its original Indestructible Innocence as Sacred Vessel of Love is to feel for yourself the sensations while being bodily loved through Intimate Touch during Sacred Body Rites with your Sacred Consort.
If you bodily open, trust, surrender, and fully receive the sensuousness of Love that flows as Eros in your inner body unconditionally, amid all the protests of the hypermasculine, you will enjoy an extremely powerful alchemy for healing and wholeness:
We are afraid of our Eros Body and desire, and we are terrified of arousal. Therefore we dare not feel the sensuousness of Love, nor surrender to them unconditionally to receive Love, or let it in during intimate touch for fear of self-violent communication, and re-experiencing hypermasculine’s brutal self-punishments.
Feeling receptivity to the your erotic sensuous is ‘the walk’ of unwaveringly being with, and feeling all the intensity – of fear, recoil, control, false boundaries, spiritual by-pass, desire, or arousal – while you are being touched, without acting on any of it.
Sacred Body Rites restores body to its Original Indestructible Innocent state:
Criatura is Holy Grail brimming with Mother Love for the benefit for all creation.
The Sacred Mystery of ‘body’ is its power to vulnerably emanate Tender Mother Love.
Love unites all fragmented aspects of our consciousness, restoring it to Wholeness.
Consciousness, when made Whole, provides the space to further evolve Love.
This Secret Sacred Marriage never ends.
To bodily open to and receive the sensations, desire, longing, and arousal that is present during Sacred Body Rites you need to feel bodily safe, which requires that you feelingly inhabit your inner body space. ‘Feeling safe’ is not an outside job, having to to with the behavior of others. Rather, feeling safe arises by feelingly being in your body and sensing how that feels safe. As mentioned, inhabiting your inner body space with feeling awareness is different from looking down into the body from above with an unfeeling witness consciousness. You also trust yourself, and your Sacred Consort with whom you are celebrating Sacred Body Rites. Your partner must be in impeccable feeling contact with his authentic boundaries, and guided by the inner flow of Love that he fiercely abides in, in unwavering feeling presence inside himself.
He touches you without projection, or leaking his desire and need into your body – as object, or going inside your inner body space in order to fix, heal you, move your energy, balance your chakras, ‘do to,’ or ‘get’ self-gratification from you.
When you are touched by a man who inwardly abides inside his inner body, amid his authentic boundaries – by resting inside the dynamic tension of opposites – your inner feminine flow of sensuousness of your Eros Body – as Love – feels safe to arise, emanate, come out to play, and suffuse your whole inner body space with soft, sweet, orgasmic, sensuous ecstasy and arousal amid increasing depth of intimacy and intensity.
Receiving your sensuous erotic flow increases the potency of your Eros Body, suffusing it with The Love that restores bodily flesh to its original state as Holy Grail.
While receiving intimate touch, not only do you allow yourself to bodily enjoy the sensuousness, the erotic splendor, desire, longing, and arousal, you also practice unconditionally and feelingly being with any hypermasculine intensity that arises inside you. This includes all the objectification, separation, naming, labeling, spiritual by-pass, self-violent communications, self-hatred, undeserving, guilt, fear, of being deluded, tricked, abused, having doubts about this practice as being ‘wrong,’ and that the evoked feelings of Eros, need, desire, longing, arousal, and Love is ‘bad,’ as well as the projections we have put on the provides as abuser, perpetrator, etc….and on it goes.
Practicing abiding in the ‘dynamic tension of opposites’ means you can feelingly be with any intensity, weather it is recoil, avoidance, shut down, or deeply erotic orgasmic sensations, powerful desire, arousal, fear, rage, abuse, etc., whatever it is, you let it be inside, as it is, without projecting it onto an object: a situation, or your consort – ‘out there.’
This process of abiding in your innerness, and feelingly being with intensity or intimacy, reverses the direction of Love – from up and out of the body into separation – to inside and down into the body and all your cells unite with Love.
While abiding in your innerness, the energy of Love implodes inside the cells as the potency of Love’s Radiance into the inner body space that suffuses all your cells with The Love that unites all things and which is felt as an erotic connection with all that is.
Practicing free-flowing attention amid unwavering presence, by feelingly being with the sensations and all intensity and intimacy that arises – ecstatic or horrible – and letting it be as it is without adding self-critical commentary to the already critical commentary is what gradually heals the hypermasculine imbalance, and restores the Wholeness to body as a realized irrevokable union of Love and Consciousness.
By now, you get the fundamental importance of healing the hypermasculine disposition that objectifies and creates the dissociative, body-mind split, and spiritual by-pass. Without recognition of the hypermasculine, utter bodily union with Love, as enfleshment, is fantasy.
Click here for a detailed article on how to support a man: Healing our Grail Wound
Barry Long says, ‘there is not a man alive who is not compelled to masturbate even when living with a fully active sexual partner. However, when Love awakens in the man through regular practice of letting Love be in charge of his penis while inside his partner’s vagina, his need for ejaculation will gradually subside. Meanwhile, until that occurs, he masturbates without inner images, or he only uses inner images of the vagina and not inner pictures of women’s faces.’ A practice I recommend for this is to maintain feeling presence in your inner body space – by whole-body inner breathing through the inner breathing portal in the perineum and genitals. When you practice this while masturbating it spreads the ejaculatory intensity from the penis to the whole inner body space in which whole body orgasms occur without ejaculation. If you ejaculate, do not lay a guilt trip on yourself; keep guilt out of it.
When a man’s penis not surrendered to Love he will be over-excitable, and can become sexually aggressive and domineering at the slightest hint of sex. A hypermasculine driven male creature is helpless to his testosterone-driven need to procreate, which reveals the inherent cruelty in woman’s teasing and flirting with him, and her irresponsible disposition toward man’s inherent sexual-animal nature, which perpetuates a vicious cycle.
If both man and woman are driven by their emotionally drenched complexes, and are possessed by their hypermasculine consciousness and uncontrolled animals, with no Love around, a vicious cycle ensues: man is compelled to ‘get from her,’ through aggressive, dominating sex without Love, and he often suffers premature ejaculation that abruptly ends the possibility of a woman celebrating any Love with him.
Woman in turn, increasingly develops unconscious fear of man’s hypermasculine aggression and his unconscious hatred of the feminine. She feels hateful-in-kind toward the man for having sex without loving her, and she withholds from him and teases, which thereby increases man’s frustration, and deepens his aggressive and dominating behavior toward her out of his hatred for the feminine for her not giving her Love to him…. In this vicious cycle during intercourse, both collapse, and defer to a self-created mutual fantasy world inside themselves, out of which each will use the other to self-gratify through genital orgasm without Love. There is no ability through fantasy, in the dissociative frenzy of exuberance, automaticity, and static filled intensity therein, to sense the sensuous nuances and subtle, erotic body sensations of Love flowing in the inner body space.
A man who have been subjected to a woman’s ‘feindess’ – who out of jealousy attempts to emotionally control his libido – enters a powerful emotional complex known as ‘castration terror.’ Many men will do anything to avoid the perceived terror of castration that harkens back to circumcision it that occurred. However, once a man feels castrated, he becomes defeated in his creative drive in life. There are many men we can observe who are trapped in this complex, and it is one of the cruelest acts one person can do to another – to take away ones vitality in the name of compliance to another’s will over them.
When a man’s intimate partner feels she owns his libido; when she does not trust him and suspects his activities – is jealous of him associating with any other women, and is fearful of loosing her man then, her feindess will rear its controlling strategies over his libido by wielding her sexual power over his sex drive. This control is expressed through teasing and tormenting him with the promise of sex and then withdrawal of it, by jealousy, rage attacks, and even violence. Most men cannot stand up to a woman’s fiendess therefore, he will not confront her; he becomes an emasculated slave to escape her volatile emotions and her onslaught of cruel punishments. Fortunately Sacred Body Rites sessions with a female practitioner can provide a portal out of this complex through Sacred Touch of the testicles, penis, prostate and perineum. A woman can be healed by a male Sacred Body Rites practitioner in the same way.
Love does not contain projection, or over-excitement, even during an orgasm. Orgasm will come for both partners when Love deems it so. Orgasm inside Love is a pure whole body sensory experience that expresses as prolonged, repeating inner waves of sensuous erotic intensity that gradually builds in a quiet, precious, and beautiful way. There will be no trying, no wanting, no getting to, no attachment, and no hurry. Rather, there will be direct sensation of ever-growing pleasure and beauty in the now.
Whole-body orgasm with ejaculation under the charge of Love in unwavering feeling present becomes a powerful quantum ignition that increases the potency of Love’s embodiment to a depth, degree, and on new level of coherence:
Each time it leads to Love’s deeper enfleshment.
Both lovers unite in the eternal present where Love is all that is. They mutually enjoy Union with Love inside, and as each other’s flesh. Here, spiritual union and one’s flesh becomes indistinguishable from Love, or from each other’s flesh. It is as though the flesh-to-flesh interchange of Love continues despite that the physical bodies have separated spatially and are no longer physically celebrating Conscious Love. Each partner reports the distinct sense of physical enfleshed union while celebrating Conscious Love that continues unabated despite being separate physically (See enfleshment).
Now contains no self: it is consciousness, which is Love. Consciousness transmutes physical love making into Celebrating Spiritual Love that realizes Sacred Union with all that is – all the way into the flesh.
By celebrating Conscious Love often and regularly, there will be an increase in Stillness and peace, and a decrease of emotionality and anxiety in the day-to-day lives of the lovers. Eventually, over prolonged practice and celebration of Conscious Love, the lovers will feel that they are living as one flesh united as One Love:
Fully living life in the Spell of the Sensuous is as though we are bodily immersed in the ocean of the embryonic fluid of Love.
The vagina that is open, present, still, soft, wet, effortless, innocent, receptive, passive, and undetermined is a living organ of Love. Yoni-Heart lovingly absorbs into her vagina all the aggression and frustrations of man, and is capable of transmuting the world with her infinite Love.
The penis is a living intelligent organ of Love. When man can give to his woman his unwavering feeling presence while abiding in Stillness with his undefended open heart, he bodily receives and absorbs through his penis all the energetic tensions held in the lips, g-spot, vagina, cervix,and uterus so she can release old pains and emotionality therein. Her entire yoni will increasingly soften while he remains stable, feelingly present, unrushed, gentle, open hearted, and undefended to receive and bodily absorb her energies.
Eventually, her precious feminine energies of Love will arise, gather, and release from her yoni suffusing her whole body and transmit Love to her Consort, and both partners enjoy Love. In turn, man’s consciousness will become more stable, whole, and feelingly present to gather and receive more of these energies of Love with the magnetic, illuminative power of his penis, and he can behold and absorb them despite their near unbearable radiance, beauty, sensuousness, and glorious splendor of Love.
Can a man receive and bodily absorb, as his gift to her, the complete surrender of woman’s precious Love, which is her ultimate gift to him? His capacity to be feelingly present with her Love displays his spiritual capacities as a man.
Only what he can take, can she give. Take me as much as you give yourself to me.
After sufficient practice in celebrating Conscious Love, when emotionality is no longer in control, the partners can let go of the practice of no foreplay, and enjoy Love Play:
Let Love be in charge of whatever arises during touch, kissing, oral, and anal Love. Female Consorts joyously discover a new delight in anal Love when practiced as Conscious Love. It reveals that the anus is yet another secret chamber that when opened like a flower bud becomes an extension of contact with the vagina, cervix, and uterus that fills out and completes the circuit of Yoni-Heart in which total ascent and descent currents of Love utterly unite.
Man adores woman’s yoni as the Holy Shrine, the eye of God that he worships in holy reverence. Touching, tasting, kissing, smelling, peering into, and entering the Holy Shrine with his fingers to further soften the muscular walls and membranes of the vagina as a Divine act in which God – as Love – is more deeply revealed. Woman may practice fully receiving man’s worship of her, breathing in its impact through the pores of her whole body to sense the inner flow of Love therein.
Woman receives the Holy Power in man by fondling and placing his penis in her mouth alternating between moving with the flow of Love and remaining in total Stillness. If man does not go into excitability, and he remains still then she can absorb vast unwavering consciousness, become opened, and blossom into the infinite – the Black Stillness of the Absolute and she dissolves into and become One Love.
Based on the intermix between the various enfoldments of inner body flow and non-separate matter that emerge and become present inside Pure Breath of Love, we can perceive at what point along the spectrum of surrender of ‘self/Self ‘ that ones ego has acquiesced relative to an utter bodily suffusion of Pure Breath of Love.
We ascertain this by noticing how much resistance, fight, or triggering into projection that is demonstrated amid intensity or intimacy. ‘Fight’ manifests as quick, automatic reactions to what is. In other words, when meeting an ‘edge’ of intensity or intimacy it triggers old habitual relational patterns of defense, avoidance, overwhelm, control, suspicion, vigilance, recoil, distraction, instability, irritability and arguments with life (what is), or by-pass, dissociation, shut down, projection onto the practitioner old abuse patterns in which they become the perpetrator and abuser, and so on.
Another revelation is when a someone reveals their lifestyle to us: we hear that they over-will to push through life rather than flow with it, or they avoid and distract themselves from feeling the tough issues. Their life styles are fundamentally stressful, hurry-worry driven, stuck in overdrive, overwhelm, with never enough time to get things done – we all know this place. This is an indicator that ones primary orientation (disposition) is more in the horizontal – ego – rather than the vertical – Stillness – Spaciousness -Love. Besides Stillness Touch sessions to stabilize the inner body space, we can be of service to our stuck partners in this dilemma. First, by being an example ourselves of a vertical orientation through our daily practice of sitting in Stillness, and second, by giving our consorts inner-body practices that reconnect them to the vertical – to their inner body wisdom, to Stillness, and to Pure Breath of Love. Here, Eckhart Tolle characterizes someone who lives in a vertical orientation:
“Presence is a state of inner spaciousness. When you are present, you ask: How do I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment, for the greater good of the whole? In fact, you don’t even need to ask the question. You are still, alert, and open to what is. You bring a new dimension into the situation: space. Then you look and you listen. Thus you become one with the situation. When instead of reacting against a situation, you merge with it, and the solution arises out of the situation itself. Actually, it is not you, the person, who is looking and listening, but the alert Stillness itself. Then, if action is possible or necessary, you take action or rather, right action happens through you. Right action is action that is appropriate to the whole. When the action is accomplished, the alert, spacious Stillness remains. There is nobody who raises his arms in a gesture of triumph shouting a defiant ‘Yeah!’ There is no one who says, ‘Look, I got that done.’ All creativity comes out of inner spaciousness. Once the creation has happened and something has come into form, you have to be vigilant so that the notion of ‘me’ or ‘mine’ does not arise: in other words, if you take credit for what you accomplished, the ego has returned, and the spaciousness has become obscured.”
How do we recognize the hypermasculine, and open to the positive masculine? Below, from an email I received, is a detailed characterization of how the hypermasculine sounds inside us. Brace yourself. This is a ferocious ‘know thyself’ depicting a recognition of the hypermasculine from a female Kali warrior:
“After my Stillness Touch session, I had a powerful unraveling wherein I realized that I projected all of my worst fears, my feelings of utter worthlessness, disease, eternal ‘badness’ on my osteopath. I contacted my own prison of shadows and self-imposed self-hatred, which then became a prism through which I experience the world. When the world is not there to defend itself against my default projections, they all come back to me flushing their bright and garish screens – my personalized times square of billboards – proclaiming how much I SUCK in fluorescent colors and many different languages.
And the scary thing is, the more the person matters to me, the more I hate myself in their presence – and my osteopath really left an impression on me as a healer and a teacher – and then he went silent. The truth is: I do not know why he did so, but I went straight to my dungeon and turned on the “He hates ‘me’ movie.”
It is devastating to see it so clearly after the session with you, because it is the reality of my existence right now. Despite being a beautiful girl with manifold of opportunities for being a healer, a lover, a mother, a wife, a muse, a human being who can rejoice at the sun, the flowers, the joy, and the privilege of being alive.
I spend my life mostly within the crushing walls of my dungeon, demanding that the world convince me that it doesn’t hate me, and it tries, but it can’t, and I spiral right into the pit of the cauldron, and I don’t know what to do Charles. I do not know how to lift this spell off myself, pardon myself, let myself out of prison, and begin to live my precious life.
So my osteopath is a great healer after all, he gave me what I need (whether he knows it or not) because I could have come and lay on his table week after week, but those walls grow back because no one but me can dispel them for me. So far, for all my experiences, and healings, and blessings, and journeys, I always find myself back in the dungeon – isolated from the world by own projections of worthlessness.”
Who cannot relate to this inner tirade of self-violent communication? I sure can.
I remember how grueling it felt when I committed to unwaveringly recognize and unconditionally be with – and feel – my near-constant self-violent, self-critical, inner dialogue, and catch all the self-hateful regard I had toward the feminine, my body, thoughts, emotions, and my fluctuating will forces.
My body was something I barely tolerated because it was ‘not real’ when compared to ‘real’ spirit. I still have some self-forgiveness to navigate here: I cringe over how I abused my body’s precious will-forces for selfish gain through strategies of covert seduction, innuendo, and subtle manipulation of others libido upon which I fed. I shake my head in astonishment over how much I self-deprived due to spiritual notions that the feminine, body, and the sensuous was an impure distraction from ‘The Path,’ which really hid how afraid of Love I was, and how undeserving of Love I felt. Even more humbling was when I chose to face, be with, stew inside, and unconditionally feel all my personal hypermasculine strategies, which were similar to what our Heroine described about herself in her email. I am still regularly astonished at how much I project upon another who I want them to be based on my idealism, and then I feel disappointed when they are acting as themselves rather than as my projection of them.
In our culture, we have all experienced at one time or another some level of disembodiment. This manifests as various forms of disconnect: mind is separate from body, which, in turn places us out of touch with the feelings of the heart and the sensations of the belly. When not present to sensations in the body, we do not perceive the pulsations of the earth, or the infinite sensuous field of one living substance that pervades all that is: these are aspects of one spectrum. The embodiment practices we offer will help you more consistently inhabit yourself in presence, and stabilize your awareness to remain present to the ever-unfolding stream of life – as sensation – in a more fully embodied way.
Essentially, these sensing practices will help you contact the sensuous wisdom of the body through the medium of stillness. By grounding in the stillness of heart and belly you will learn to open up your feeling presence to the sensation of the invisible flow of your own unfolding consciousness, and thereby meet the conditioned patterns that block your access to the body as a limitless sensation field of presence that is erotically one with all that is.
In your heart is a mysterious portal that interconnects the infinite ocean of Love to the sensuous consciousness in your body. Ground substance is the inner ocean of the body. It is a liquid connective tissue that pervades the inside and outside of every cell with consciousness, and unites the awareness of 50 trillion cells as one consciousness. So body as microcosm reflects macrocosm: our individual consciousness is an expression of 50 trillion cells which, in turn, is in direct contact with the infinite consciousness of the Whole. Paradoxically, by descending inward to heart we contact our inner ocean, which is one with the outer shimmering, pulsing oceanic heart of mother earth. Since the heart of mother earth is one with the infinite heart, we directly realize ourselves as Mother Love – all that is – expressed as body.
Embodied contact with Stillness reawakens the coherence of our heart field as infinite awareness of sensation through which we can evolve without limit. Most of us feel this inherently as a bodily knowing, even though we do not know how we know. The good news is your realization becomes more explicit by contacting your heart field.
Yet, to simply be with life’s sensuous unfolding, as it is, challenges us. How do we drop our pre-occupation with how life “ought” to be? Habitually clinging to our expectations creates static in the body’s liquid ground substance, which blurs our contact with the free-flow of life as sensation. At any moment, however, we can choose to relax and let ourselves be carried by the sensations of ever flowing now.
Another challenge is that rational mind takes the one essence that pervades all that is, and separates it from us. This ego disposition needs a subject and object – a ‘me’ and a ‘that.’ If everything in life is interconnected, then is the subject-object perspective a misperception? True, our bodies are separated by skin, and yet, each body is permeated by one presence that infuses into, and infinitely expands the boundaries of ‘body.’ As we can see, separating the body, presence, or sensations into parts creates a separate self, which can so deeply impact us that we feel separate from source. We subsequently loose sensuous contact with the now.
To surrender, relax control, rest in the disposition of ‘I don’t know,’ and then, fall into heart we arrive in the now. Our receptive presence to the inner sensations builds our basic trust in life’s inner streaming as it unfolds moment by moment. Meanwhile, the flow of now is free to be exactly as it is, and in our original innocence, we accept it.
Stillness Practices cultivate embodied feeling presence, and it turns out that whole-body felt sense of the tone of the inner body atmosphere – as sensation – is an unerring guide to this mystery. Whole-body felt sense is a function of our natural state that is one with the wisdom of the body and nature. This Sophia is sensuousness that expresses out of Absolute Stillness as the Eternal Feminine principle that unites all parts with the Whole, and links us to our boundless nature – as all that is. By relaxing into heart and contacting the sensuous, body unites with Soul, which erotically interconnects us with all life. This erotic union includes our senses, which unite as a sacred sense, Spiritual Touch – a conscious, embodied, felt, erotic contact with all that is.
Touching another while seated in this matrix we contact inner body sensation as a conscious, liquid, protoplasmic whole-body flow that breathes in ebb-tide fashion like the waves of an ocean. We realize that body’s sensuous ‘inner’ waves are one with the infinite ‘outer’ ocean of sensuous consciousness that pervades everything. While being touched we realize that by asserting that we have separate parts in separate bodies in denial of this sensuous unified flow in the body is like insisting that waves are not part of the ocean. This is how our ego’s separating sense becomes transparent to us when we touch, or are touched by another in natural state. We realize our natural state, from within body and retain our humanity and our differences without loosing contact with our common infinite divinity.
Repeatedly being touched from this natural disposition gradually restores to us our native heart perception by which we bodily realize the sensuous of wholeness as eros. That is why in my book Stillness health is redefined as wholeness, which is merely erotic conscious embodied contact with all that is. Rather than feeling bodily unrest, lack, fear, doubt, and dissatisfaction that result from orienting outwardly toward separateness, we, instead through Stillness Touch, realize embodied wholeness imbued with calm, trust, and confidence in being.
In summary, our inner orientation to sensation results in a wholeness that arises from embodied contact with the sensations of inner-body flow of Love that is connected with The Love that is all that is. The courage to cultivate the inner receptivity, be guided, and carried by the sensations of inner-body flow becomes a way of life. This choice is radically different from objectifying body from psyche, and focusing on what is ‘broken’ about us, and then, striving to “spiritually” improve on it. I have certainly succumbed to this strategy most of my life.
When we touch, or are touched by, another while relaxing all need to fix anything, and instead, humbly attune to the wisdom of life’s ever-unfolding flow of sensations that emanate from within the body, we discover our authenticity. Touching the body’s inner wisdom unites the parts as a whole, which leads us to the inner calm of being cradled by Love. We realize Presence as our heart essence: accepting Life-as expression of Love, we cease controlling, and trust that Love can manage us, and all that is, perfectly well without our help, so we relax and let it be.
We experience that the capacity to face ourselves – and trust this very moment – as it is – and to let it be – is facilitated by the simple power of human touch. We learn to stand as feeling witness to our own humanity, and to serve as a silent witness in support of others. Essentially, the mystery of touch is a powerful means for mutual body-to-body transmission of the sensations of unconditional Love.